political commentator * author * publisher * bookseller * radio presenter * blogger * Conservative candidate * former lobbyist * Jack Russell owner * West Ham United fanatic * Email iain AT iaindale DOT com
Friday, April 18, 2008
Friday Caption Competition
Well there's not much else going on today, so I thought a caption competition might be in order. I'll kick it off with...
"Is that a snooker cue, or are you just pleased to see me?"
With the hidden webcam in his consulting rooms, celebrity proctologist, Dr Heinz Fueller reckoned he could bring his retirement plans forward by six years.
Balls says "The moron pulls the same face when I do him - if you don't beleive me check out Guido's caption competition". Red Ken says "... and you promise I can stay in power for as long as Mugabwe if I let you come insider".
Deep down here by the dark water lived old Living-Gollum, a small slimy creature. I don’t know where he came from, nor who or what he was. He was Living-Gollum – as dark as darkness, except for two big round pale eyes in his thin face.
Living-Gollum: “Sssss,” …. “Praps ye sits here and chats with it a bitsy, my preciousss. It like elections, praps it does, does it?”
Jabbing with his cue at the blubbering heap of misery tied to the other end of the table.
"I'm not untying you until you shout, 'I love Ken, Ken for Mayor!' "
Broon:
Tied to the other end of the billiard table.
"No, I won't! (gape and gasp)"
Ken:
Pushing a billiard ball sized gob stopper into Gordon's gaping mouth and taping it there.
"Then you'll stay there all night with that taped in your mouth, sunshine. So what, eh, Balls?"
Balls:
Frantically clawing at his face and head.
"No! I can't go along with this, let him go, Ken."
Ken:
"What the......?"
Ken's jaw droops and his face contorts with shock as the mask begins peeling from Balls' face to reveal...
Boris:
"I don't like the blubbering idiot any more than you do but you leave me with no choice but to untie him, stand back, Ken, or I shall be forced to manhandle you."
Broon:
As Boris removes the last strip of tape from his mouth, Broon shouts:
63 comments:
"Balls is in deep with Mayor Livingslime"
Did you have to put a bit of screw on that to get it in!
"Bugger Me!"
"Balls is in deep with Mayor Livingslime!"
Give it to me big boy
One of these days Iain, you'll get yourself into real trouble!
ED: 'Gordon taught me how to do this. He's awfully keen on it. I still think I prefer pocket billiards, though.'
This is just how Gordo likes it
Livingston is finally shafted by the Labour party?
Iain, Guido will be miffed to have missed this one.
"So weak, Ed!"
Labour shafts one of its own this time...
Just pretend my name is Lee
Lolcats shout-
Balls: I iz in ur Mayor doin' politix.
"And for those of you watching in black and white, the Balls behind the Red"
THAT'S BLOCKBUSTERS!!!
Or perhaps...
Ed had certainly ballsed up Ken's campaign by putting chilli powder in his mug of Horlicks.
Balls: 'I used to do this for Gordon, and I kept the Surgical glove.'
This comment is funded by the European Fund for Marxists and Anarchists which is funded by London Taxpayers.
Is it August already?
Ken: "That's not brown, it's balls!"
Is that you Gordon?
Leavingsoon fails to sink the blue
When the Mayor said he was hoping to pot one of the balls, Ed decided to do it to him first.
Hi Ken - I have a message from the people of London!
'And just cough..'
"what should I do Ed, Pink or Brown?"
Ed puts the squeeze on Leavingsoon ... now we know for sure it's a nickname not a surname !
`Up the arse corner` in VIZ has been doing this sort of satire for years.
I thought Ken was the only stealer of ideas.
Ed balls Ken
OOOOOOHHHH! THATS MUCH TIGHTER GORDONS FLABBY ARSE
New balls please!
Grabbed by the balls!
A million miles better than Guido's Friday caption, that's for sure.
Well done Mrs. Dale, your blog is much better of late.
Balls up!
"Blimy Boris now I see what drew Petsy to you."
And this is the grip Gordon used on Alan West. If you don't win in London I'll show you how we persuaded Angela Smith not to resign
So that's where you hide the secret bank accounts
Tonsilitus, you've got a throat infection
A quick vasectomy will stop any more stray children
Ed the Bungler Balls puts a deep screw on the red.
Ed puts the red on the brown spot.
A throbbing surprise from behind causes Ken to miss the easy pink but take the tight brown instead.
White ball red pocket with plenty of left spin.
With the hidden webcam in his consulting rooms, celebrity proctologist, Dr Heinz Fueller reckoned he could bring his retirement plans forward by six years.
Balls says
"The moron pulls the same face when I do him - if you don't beleive me check out Guido's caption competition".
Red Ken says
"... and you promise I can stay in power for as long as Mugabwe if I let you come insider".
In. Off the Brown.
Good one. But I can't think of a caption - its the bulging eyes that do it for me. Ouch...lol
Livingston forgets the safety as he brings balls round the table and up the baulk end.
Eyes about chaps, this is drifting into the turgid shite that are the usual suggestions on Guido's caption comps...
After Arsenal's defensive failures, Ken aims to get tight at the back.
"Oooh er missus. Is that you Yvette?"
"Well, with no pink available, it looks like he's going for the long brown..."
Deep down here by the dark water lived old Living-Gollum, a small slimy creature. I don’t know where he came from, nor who or what he was. He was Living-Gollum – as dark as darkness, except for two big round pale eyes in his thin face.
Living-Gollum: “Sssss,” …. “Praps ye sits here and chats with it a bitsy, my preciousss. It like elections, praps it does, does it?”
Ken:
Jabbing with his cue at the blubbering heap of misery tied to the other end of the table.
"I'm not untying you until you shout, 'I love Ken, Ken for Mayor!' "
Broon:
Tied to the other end of the billiard table.
"No, I won't! (gape and gasp)"
Ken:
Pushing a billiard ball sized gob stopper into Gordon's gaping mouth and taping it there.
"Then you'll stay there all night with that taped in your mouth, sunshine. So what, eh, Balls?"
Balls:
Frantically clawing at his face and head.
"No! I can't go along with this, let him go, Ken."
Ken:
"What the......?"
Ken's jaw droops and his face contorts with shock as the mask begins peeling from Balls' face to reveal...
Boris:
"I don't like the blubbering idiot any more than you do but you leave me with no choice but to untie him, stand back, Ken, or I shall be forced to manhandle you."
Broon:
As Boris removes the last strip of tape from his mouth, Broon shouts:
"BORIS FOR MAYOR!"
After Ed Balls' campaign visit for Leavingsoone, the mayor checks the latest Poll results.
Ken says he now knows what Londoners feel like.
Sorry to be a prude, but have I wandered into Guido's cesspit by mistake?
Ken: No the oyster card doesn't go there
Ken eagerly awaiting the arrival of his latest sprog.
This just gives the impression that another Cabinet member is in the s**t again!
Rearly?
If this doesn't make you blink, nothing will!!
Balls shows Ken why he thinks he can be the next Clunking Fister.
Ballsy: The wife doesn't let me do that
...and now i'd like you all to give ken a big hand for that magnificent pot on the red.oooohhh!
Fletcher-Dervish finally gets to screw B'astard.
Ed: Will be able to screw the blue?
Ken: Not a problem, I've screwed 10 million over the past 8 years
Leninslime finds out what it's like to be a car driver in London. Balls charges him £25 because of the amount of noxious fumes he emits.
Ed Balls delivers a much needed health check to Mr Livingstone.
http://www.drrant.net/2008/04/who-really-needs-check-up.html
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