Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Yoko Oh No

Yoko Ono has been invited to edit the Today Programme (no, really, she has). Imagine all the people who won't be listening...

28 comments:

Mr Eugenides said...

I've got an image of Ed Stourton and Jim Naughtie doing the show naked in bed... thanks a lot...

andysdad said...

why don't you like Yoko, she's one the most talented artists working today, her conceptual work predates the so called modern brit artists (Hirst, Emmin etc) by thirty years or more; and is better too, would you be happier if john had married a nice middle class english girl?

Anonymous said...

You're just jealous...;-)

Anonymous said...

John Lennon won't be listening anyway.

AnyonebutBlair said...

Great. She will bring the great weight of her intellectual and political credibility to Today. But she has to be better than Rod Liddle!

Anonymous said...

Permanently or as a "one off" - a bit like Boris hosting "HIGNFY" ?

Paul said...

I can imagine it now, no voice just the sound of a hamster running around it's wheel for a few hours. Why not get some of their listeners to edit the show? Now that would be novel.

Why do media types think we care about clebs opinions?

Chris Doidge said...

I'd rather have Heather Mills present it. And that's saying something.

Lynda said...

Well that's another morning I won't be listening to Today. I can't stand the woman !

bebopper said...

The bird wot broke up the Beatles.
Talented artist? You must be joking andysdad. She made a film of nothing but arses and John Lennon thought she was a genious. He married her and she's spent the last thirty years counting his money.
Her modern counterpart is Sam Taylor Wood, who recently made a film of David Beckham sleeping.
Andy Warhol had a lot to answer for.

Graham E said...

andysdad..'why don't you like Yoko, she's one the most talented artists working today, her conceptual work predates the so called modern brit artists (Hirst, Emmin etc) by thirty years or more; and is better too,'....
A bit like saying a pile of horse shit is better than a pile of cow shit...

Anonymous said...

John Lennons death was a tragedy.

I mean six bullets and Chapman never hit Yoko Once.

Ain't fate a fickle bitch.

jimthechimp said...

I think Iain should edit the Today programme. He'd be great.

It'll stop him going on about the Doughty Street and Vox Pox or whatever it is.

strapworld said...

The Yoko Ono TODAY Programme...

6am.Thought for the day..
'Imagine' sang by John Lennon.

6.5am Interview with Yoko Ono on the political situation in Nicaragua.

6.30am Interview with Yoko Ono on whether Tony Blair should be made a Saint.

6.50am Thought for the day (re-run of the 6am John lennon's 'Imagine') followed by the weather forecast 'Raining in my Heart' by Buddy Holly.

7am News Headlines read by Yoko Ono.

7.10am Interview with Yoko Ono on the need for greater integration by the British people with Immigrants.

7.30am News Headlines read by Yoko Ono.

7.40am Interview with Yoko Ono about the need for Press Freedom in Outer Mongolia.

7.50am Thought for the Day ('Imagine' by John Lennon) and the Weather Forecast ('Raining in my heart' -Buddy Holly.

8am News Headlines read by Yoko Ono.

8.10am Prime Minister Tony Blair (that is he) interviewed by Yoko Ono.
During this interview Tony will play his guitar and be joined by Yoko Ono and Bono for a rendition of 'Yesterday'...(all my troubles seemed so far away!!)

8.30am News Headlines read by Yoko Ono.

8.35am Yoko Ono reads a selection of John Lennon's poems.

8.55am Thought for the day followed by weather forecast...Imagine/Raining in my Heart.

9am The Big Switch ON as the millions return to Radio Four.

raincoaster said...

She's actually a solid artist, as andysdad says.

Unfortunately, she's of the opinion that her talent translates to all spheres, which it does not. Just listen to Double Fantasy if you doubt; her voice sounds like the female of the species of which the chainsaw is the male.

Expat said...

Why do artists and musicians think that anybody is interested in their opinions. When will Frank Bruno be allowed to edit the Today Programme?

MorrisOx said...

Proof positive that BBC editors and producers inhabit an entirely separate planet to their listeners, one that has yet to be discovered by astronomers.

This morning's news as conceptual art? Pass the sick-bag...

griswold said...

Leave Rod Liddell out of this. Yoko reprsents all the shallow trashiness of 60's and the music. Imagine lovers are shallow morons; the types that cried when Di died and then stood tossing flowers at her cortege. Lennon. What can one stay. He and Oko desrved each other. We'll have Bono doing Today next.

verity said...

strapworld - That was hysterical!

anonymous 12:28 - Yes. Not one bullet hit Yoko. Imagine! Oh, you can say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

The jabberwock said...

Yet another reason for all of us to refuse to pay the TV Tax (presumably the TV licence also funds BBC Radio output).

Why Yoko Ono, for goodness' sake???!!! Are those ageing male hippies Stourton, Naugtie et al trying to recover the elixir of their degenerate youth?

Is their no broken cistern from which these people will refuse to drink? What next? Thought for the day with Omar Bakri Mohammad?

Anglonoel said...

This sounds like the sort of stunt the 'Indie' comes up with ie Bono or Georgio Armani as guest editor with one of its "THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH" front pages, with a '2 for 1 flight offer' strapline just above it.

Bryan Appleyard said...

I once interviewed Yoko. I liked her a lot, not a mainstream response at a time when she was still considered as the sole cause of the Fab Four's break up. And, Anon, why shouldn't Lennon be listening? Elvis is.

David B said...

This is great news. And I have the picture to prove it.

verity said...

Paul McCarney's wife, styled by her deeply ignorant lawyers as Lady Heather Mills McCartney (I personally hope they're similarly ignorant in court) has complained, as an example of rich rock star McCartney's controlling nature, that he didn't want her to have "an antique bedpan" in their bedroom so she wouldn't have to crawl on her hands and - uh - knee to the loo in the middle of the night.

It would be easier for a one-legged person to squat on an "antique bedpan" - perhaps running the risk of never being able to get up without a hand-up, than hop using the walls for balance, to a loo which I am sure was a couple of yards away? What if she had squatted on this notional bedpan and couldn't manage to get up again because of the one-leg situation?

Life is so crool!

raincoaster said...

I'm so glad we broke up that marriage.

verity said...

Well, Raincoaster, thanks for that, and Canada advances some good arguments to win the title "Wrecker of pop hero Paul McCartney and international slut, soft porn actress and liar Heather Mills's marriage," but the warring couple have said themselves, through spokespersons, that the British press was to blame for their breakup.

Mills mentions, in her brief, that when they were flyng somewhere, she had to crawl up the steps of the plane on her hands and knee as McCartney hadn't made any arrangments for her.

A member of the flight crew didn't help her up? They stood at the top, waiting to welcome her onboard as she crawled to the top, but never came down and gave her a hand? Does the whole world hate Heather Mills that much?

younghusband said...

She is the anti-Christ as revealed in the last book of the Bible. Read chapter 9, chapter 9, chapter 9....

raincoaster said...

They're just being gracious and trying not to fall into the Blame Canada routine. It was really our Fisheries Minister. I bet in your country they don't take on responsibility for foreigners' marriages, but here there are so few people that we all have to take on all kinds of odd jobs.

From what I've heard of Heather Mills, I'd not only have made her crawl onto the private jet, I'd have made her catch her own caviar. A symphony of the world's tiniest violins plays for the woman whose servants won't even carry her onto the jet.