Sunday, August 10, 2008

An A-Z of Leftie Commenting

Liberal Conspiracy has an A-Z of Right Wing Commenting. Here are a few examples...

ALCOHOL - benign, harmless substance when consumed by anyone over 45 which is also toxic and dangerous drug when administered to YOUNG PEOPLE or FERAL YOUTH. Should be taxed when drunk by YOUNG PEOPLE but not by others, who are of course responsible and never do anything wrong.
BBC, THE - Pinko commie bastard scumbags who love liberals and want our children to be gay. Bonus points for saying “I BET YOU WON’T PUBLISH THIS, COMMUNIST BBC!” whenever you submit anything to the HYS messageboard.
BLAIR, CHERIE - bonus points for criticising haircut/size of mouth.
GOLLIWOG - harmless teddy for children with no racial connotations whatsoever. Anyone who complains about them is a NULAB PC fascist with ‘no sense of humour’.
GUARDIAN READERS - wilfully ignorant yoghurt-weaving sandal-clad Islington-dwelling fools who want to strangle our babies and kill everyone, bringing a wave of MULTICULTURALISM and LIBERAL values to our ONCE-GREAT COUNTRY.
HARPERSON, HARRIET - Hilarious alternative for Harriet Harman. Evil witch who hates men and wants to destroy the world through political correctness.
IT NEVER DID ME ANY HARM - can be used for bullying, beating, torture, any kind of child abuse basically.
NEW LABOUR - A bunch of Stalinist scum who are deliberately killing our children. Please use the correct term ‘NuLab’.
SILENT MAJORITY - millions and millions of people who all agree with rabidly right-wing views but don’t ever have the courage to express them for fear of upsetting the PC BRIGADE and LIBERALS.
TAXPAYER - should be prefixed with ‘already overburdened’. Mythical chap who pays for immigration, young people, single mums etc and is always on the verge of ‘getting fed up about it’.

Nice to know we get under their skin so much. Anyway, why don't we reciprocate and create an A-Z of Leftie Commenting...

The comments are open...

51 comments:

Anonymous said...

What do the limpdums do again? I seem to have forgotten.
Oh yes thats it lie through their teeth about everything to everyone to get elected then pay rent boys to....you know the rest.

Anonymous said...

ETHNIC MINORITIES: People who should be kept apart from white people as they should be forced to practice multiculturalism. People who are so fascinating, but must never be given any positions of responsibility or invited to tea.

DC said...

Littlejohn - brown-shirted fascist who would like to serfdom reintroduced into this country. Fortunately counteracted by the virginal purity of Saint Polly whose Tuscan villa is vital to the continuance of society as we know it.

Ross said...

1950s- A mythical time that all conservatives want to go back to.

Appropriate/ Inappropriate- I don't know but these words appear to be very popular on leftie sites.

Equality- An cause that will justify treating people extremely unequally.

Fox News- An immensely powerful and evil television station which is apparently the only news outlet available to American viewers.

Myth- True

Neocon- Something, anything in fact, that is undesirable.

Racist- Somebody who has just won an argument with a liberal.

Relative Poverty- The situation one finds oneself in if the neighbour has a bigger car than you.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to go a little OT Iain, but the piece mentions the BBC's Have Your Say website.

Your readers might want to take a look at the wonderful "Speak you're Branes" at http://www.ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com - they have the very best/worst of HYS on there.

They even have a Twat-o-tron to generate mad HYS comments.

Brilliant - and a hat-tip to Sadie's Tavern

Lizzie said...

FAIRNESS. To ensure that the lowest standard applies to all

Anonymous said...

Equality and Equal Opportunities:

A method of surreptitiously discriminating against any of the following groups:

Caucasians
Males
Heterosexuals
Married people
Middle Classes
Upper Classes

In fact anyone who disagrees with left wing ideology

Political Correctness:

As useful method of denying freedom of speech or freedom of action.

Progressivism

Our preferred ideology that will regress society to the beginnings of civilisation in order that we can reprogramme humanity to our will.

Urban Degredation:

Our Heartlands. Marx's Country.

Suburbia:

The enemy troops barracks

The Middle Classes:

The enemy troops

The Upper Classes:

The enemy leadership

The Countryside:

Evil enemy hinterlands where they conspire against us. It must be covered with concrete at all costs.

Gulags:

Heaven on Earth

Fox Hunting:

Subversive past-time used by the Upper Classes to demonstrate their hatred of the left (all foxes are red). Another reason to concrete over the countryside.

Immigrants:

People easily manipulated to our will with a pocketful of promises

Multiculturalism:

Clever way to confuse the population and destroy the concept of Britishness

Britishness:

The ideology of the enemy

Patriotism:

A crime punishable by death.

Marx:

God

Stalin:

The Son of God

Oppression:

The proven method of ensuring continued left-wing domination.

Poverty:

With Oppression the other cornerstone of maintaining Left wing domination.

Russia:

The Motherland

Sand:

Useful natural resource for stomping the enemy faces in.

Bureaucracy:

Excellent method of confusing the enemy

Democracy:

A preposterous concept that believes people should have the right to select their leaders.

Proportional Representation:

A method of watering down democracy and moving us closer towards our goal.

Totalitarian Dictatorship:

Our Vision.

Speed Cameras:

An excellent fund raising device.

The EU:

Our chosen route to world domination.

Detention Without Trial:

Essential for keeping our enemies in check.

Anonymous said...

The Guardian:

The Sweet Voice of The Sublime Prophets

The Independent:

The Voice of The Lesser Prophets

The Telegraph:

The Rantings Of Evil

The Daily Mail:

The Rantings of the Devil

Technology:

A mysterious magical entity to waste taxpayers money on

The NHS:

A golden idol to be protected at all costs

Education:

Something the masses can do without but essential for the faithful

Trade Unions:

The Angelic Battalions of The Faithful

University:

A place to reprogramme the children of the enemy, allow them them to slide into a world of vice and incarcerate themselves in decades of debt.

Anonymous said...

When did the resolute refusal to acknowledge of your opponents' successes become anathema to the right? When did the refusal to use your political opponents' actual names gain popularity on the right? When did personal abuse of Labour people whom the attacker almost certainly has never spoken to or met replace critical analysis and informed debate?

I'd have thought that you, Iain, as one of the more moderate and measured Tory commentators, would concur with many of the entries on the Liberal Conspiracy list. The targets of their derision are not serious and sensible Conservatives interested in debating ideas and opinions, they are in fact very often juvenile, frothy-mouthed lunatics more interested in launching tired and unfunny personal insults and allegations.

As surely you realise, Iain, such people do your Conservative cause far more harm than good.

Anonymous said...

Trouble is , Iain, that they've hit the nail spot on. You use a lot of these yourself!!!

Bill Haydon said...

RIGHT-WING: all purpose synonym for "anything I don't agree with".

Bill Haydon said...

FROTHY MOUTHED: Someone who not only does not agree with me, but who has the bare-faced cheek to do it strongly, without a hint of an apology or any sense of humility.

Anonymous said...

The BBC: A politically unbiased, state sponsored organisation representing good value for money.

Anonymous said...

1997 year zero for nulab nothing of any interest happened before this date.

1997/2010 socialist paradise declared in the uk by Tony,gordon and the holy polly

2010 end of the world for lefties nothing good can happen after this date.

Anonymous said...

The Guardian: A publication that represents the views of vast swathes of the population. Most people don't seem to mind that it is kept afloat by public sector advertising from the government, which if withdrawn would see it's rapid demise because it's circulation figures are crap.

Anonymous said...

Taxpayers: Totally ignorant mugs who will cough up vast amounts of money to fund any daft scheme thought up by us halfwits.

Anonymous said...

The Eleven Deadly Sins:

Honesty
Sincerity
Competence
Decisiveness
Thrift
Responsibility
Humility
Accountability
Individuality
Courage

Anonymous said...

Britishness: A`mechanism which lets Scottish MPs to poke their noses in English affairs.

West Lothian Question: Name for Tom Dalyell's delirium.

LibDems: A group of desperados practising MAD (mutually assured
destruction)

Multiculturism: The yogic practice
that allows hapless commuters in the tube to put up with an uncivilised bunch practising the art of public speech in a tongue no one understands.

Blair and Brown: The two greenmen who simply erased our centuries old values in a decade.

Education, education and education:
The voodoo chant of the first greenman.

Prudent: The title of the voodoo chant of the second greenman.

Tom said...

Some of the views on here, especially on the NHS (don't you want it protected, then?), display just the kind of thinking that kept you lot out of power for eleven years. Follow that course next time you're in and I guarantee you, it won't last.

Anonymous said...

Hatty Harbinger - the woman who would be PM if it weren't for all that hateful male prejudice.

Newmania said...

Well off the top of my head….

A -ASIAN ACTIVIST -
A mediocre perpetual student who lives with his mother and trades on his skin pigment to be on TV where said “skin pigment” is interpreted as a sign of great wisdom far beyond identical opiners without magic skin
BLACK -
A mystifyingly used of middeclass Asians who come to this country via such places as Uganda where they were kicked out by the blacks for exploiting …um the blacks
Or- Homogenous group always agreement with speaker and eachother
C- CULTURE ,
A thing neither possessed by nor understood by ‘whites’ who betray their ignorance by condemning forced marriage , honour killing , educational
enslavement of women murder barbaric cruelty and genocidal anti Semitism
CRIME
A word describing events that decline indirect proportion to the amount experienced by “whites”)
COUNTRY
Resource available to world and means or smoking out RACISM, by spotting any attachment to
D- DISTRIBUTION
As in inequitable distribution of moneys outrageously held by those who worked for them and ignorantly retained despite the superior claims of those who do not .
E- EQUALITY -
The legal provision of more than equal rights to women in employment , gays , in adoption , blacks , in preferment and any “victim” ( See also equal treatment of Israeli defence and Arab attacks on school buses )
EMPIRE
Genocide of innocent loveable peace loving people with own secret Parliament and full human rights legislation in 1750
EDUCATION-
The study of Adolf Hitler
ENVIROMENT- T
Thing which Conservatives seek to ruin as evidenced by the root ‘Conserve’ which means rape pillage and despoil
F - FREEDOM ,
A good thing except when not applicable to smoking , hunting , talking about immigration, retention of your identity .A quality generally only to be conferred by Government
FAMILY
= Community of Sure Start helpers and social workers AND NOT vile sexist male supremacist conspiracy of patriarchy as lovingly eulogised in lying Murdock press
GOVERNMENT MONEY
- An inexhaustible supply of finance of which there is never enough expended on “victims”. Believed to come from a money Spring deep beneath the Houses of Parliament requiring only a bucket to be replenished
GUARDIAN
- “The Truth” as revealed on mount Toynbee
H- HOUSING
Code name for social housing ie council housing . A ritual incantation whereby those unable to afford a house themselves are obliged to buy free houses for people who deserve them by virtue of being on a “list”.
I- INCOME TAX
A virtuous tax attacking the twin evils of employment and endeavour. ( See also progressive tax increasing this virtuous effect)
INSTITUTIONAL RACISM
A means whereby anyone may be guilty of ‘racism’ even if they are not , except if they are black when the reverse holds true
IMMIGRATION
- One or two friendly picnicking couples and source of white racist phobia
J- JOKE
Vicious racist assault casting salt on still fresh scars left by events that may have happened as recently as 1780. To be banned .
JEWS
- Like the Salamander of medieval bestiaries this two in one creature is generally racist but can be a “victim” when discussing education AKA study of Nazi Germany
K- KIDZ-
Angelic creatures requiring only “Government money” to live useful lives going to schools talking about why not to do knife crime to other “Kidz”
L- LEFT WING
Means of excusing fanatical despots
LEFT BLOGASPHERE-
Seen in visions like an invisible 6ft rabbit
LIPOSUCTION-
True female circumcision of the West forced on women by male cultural supremacy and true source of vicious rumour about culture perpetrated by Murdoch press
LEND -
Give money to Labour Party

M- MURDOCH PRESS-
Jewish Capitalist front for Neo Cons whose gigantic sales are forced on the unwilling workers who deeply wish to buy the Guardian
N- NEO CON =
Satanic Coven of Industrialist militarist and almost anything bad ending with ist operating at a subliminal level in MacDonald’s adverts ( Code name Google )
O-
OLIGOPOLY -
The means by which evil Tescos and its fiendish co plotters Asda and Sainsbury’s avoid competition and exploit the workers until such time as Nationalisation frees the market
P-
PRICE ,
Fiction invented by Murdoch Press to cast doubt upon revealed truth of limitless Government money
PHOBIA-
Any opinion held by white people best attached to Islam or Homo but Terrorist-ophobia is work in progress
Q- QUEEN ,
Person to be spat on jeered at and not stood up for , unless meaning homosexual in which case to be celebrated but only at Islington gay festival and not when used by Bernard Manningist counter revolutionaries
R- RACISM
All white activity from tea drinking musical taste , choice of book , decision to vote Conservative and motive behind any call to control immigration organised ultimately by Hitler neo-cons and Klu Klux Klan.
RAPE -
The act of white man looking at a woman , holidaying in Asia , using the word black
S- Sexism.- The enjoyment of sex by men unless they are black where even honour killing and forced marriage is not sexism seen through correct cultural prism
SINGLE MOTHER-
Put upon unfortunate who , unbeknownst to her , accidentally got pregnant and if she did understand what happened it was probably because she was raped by her father at the age of seven and consequently all men owe her houses and money .
SKOOLZ-
Not enough of and requiring more government money which . Must be differentiated from Schools which may be independent and containnests of reactionary hate mongering education not limited to Nazi Germnay
T- TAXPAYER-
Mythical creature said by Hefferite Daleist counter-revolutionaries to be responsible for the limitless “Government money” , actually provided as birthright
U- UNDERCLASS-
Thing I have read about at university and subsequently written about in the hope of becoming Guardian Columnist .
UNEMPLOYMENT
Fiction invented on the flimsy pretext of entire cities not working when they are obviously incapacitated
V- - VOCAL MINORITY -
Any Majority in favour leaving EU , death penalty , tougher prison sentences , traditional family and other evils foisted upon the pliable minds of the ignorant by the Murdoch Press
W- W ANKER - Term or endearment and approbation as used by old school friends of Asian activists showing deep appreciation of their careers trading on skin pigment
X-- …
Y….
Z -

Anonymous said...

as Ken has said, you don't have to read the comments sections of right wing blogs for long, even the civilised ones like yours, to know they are bang on with most of this list.

Anonymous said...

ID Cards:

A method of keeping track of our enemies.

Conservatives:

Demonspawn

The BBC:

A media outlet who can be easily manipulated by threatening to review TV licence fee arrangements.

Credit Cards & Cheap Mortgages:

A method of impoverishing the people used in stage one of our plan for national domination

Credit-Crunch:

Stage two of our plan for national domination.

Stage Three Of Our Plan for National Domination:

Gordon's still thinking about it..... but he doesn't like Alistair's idea. Dont hold your breath....

Anonymous said...

Miller 2.0

We have reached a point where the NHS is a funding black hole which increasingly is being questioned over whether it provides value for many.

Furthermore, various parts of the medical profession under the shelter of the NHS now question the right of aging people to receive treatment they need simply because of their limited further life expectancy when it is those very people who have probably paid for that treatment longer and in many cases suffered the worst period in our recent history fighting for our nation's survival (WWII).

If the NHS is all inclusive and effective then by all means protect it but if it is discriminatory and requires slavish adherence to whatever fad-like behaviour deemed by a superior medical class then I can think of a better ways to spend our money on health.

Ross said...

Two more:

Selfish- Someone who wants to keep the money that they have worked hard to earn.

Generous- Someone who wants to take the Selfish person's money to spend on what they deem appropriate. Note a generous person never works in a wealth creating job.

Devil's Kitchen said...

SOCIAL JUSTICE: a justification for maintaining one's dignity whist still advocating socialism.

SOCIALISM: an creed designed to condemn the least fortunate in society to a life of pointless debauchery whilst simultaneously providing justification for the wealth of others to flow to oneself. A system of government shown, by the last 100 years, to be one of unspeakable evil and which is still peddled by the media and unpleasant academics.

DK

Anonymous said...

Public Schools. Hotbeds of elitism and privilege fit only for the descendants of Socialists.

Hard-working.
(1) Any person or group which is so heavily taxed that it is economically viable only with the support of a patronising Govt handout.
(2) A shield for a Cabinet Minister when questioned about failing policy, as in "How dare you criticise the HARD-WORKING doctors and nurses of the NHS?"
Praise. A noun used when a part of the Administration is not getting the resources necessary to do a job, as in " I have nothing but PRAISE for our armed forces."
Class Envy. A Socialist core value.

Courage. A theoretical concept to be ghost-written about. Not a socialist core value.
Paleology. Everything that happened before 1979. The Winter of Discontent is an example of an event that happened so long ago that most socialists deny all knowledge.
Baroness Thatcher. Socialist hate figure who broke the unions just because the leaders wanted to overturn a democratic mandate to govern. She then compounded her brutalising of the common man by planning and organising the largest-ever transfer of wealth from the richest,the State, to the poorest (Council House Tenants) by commiting the enormity of allowing tenants to BUY their houses, truly the act of an evil self-regarding woman. Despite being the first-ever female PM, no less an authority than H Harman has assured the Nation that Baroness Thatcher "did nothing for women."

Fascist. (1) PC code for Stalinist.
(2) Any act, omission or argument by a political opponent which can be interpreted as illiberal.

Progressive. A resurrected Labour post-war or neo-stalinist policy.

Anonymous said...

Woman: A person that has suffered thousands of years of abuse despite the fact the average woman lives for only 80 years...

Black Person: A person still suffering the effects of slavery even if they say otherwise (see Uncle Tom)

Islam: A peaceful religion

Free Speech: [This entry has been censored]

Anonymous said...

"Some of the views on here, especially on the NHS (don't you want it protected, then?), display just the kind of thinking that kept you lot out of power for eleven years"

miller 2.0,

I also commented on NHS while adding my comments on BBC in another posting in this blog.

All I can say is Lord Darzi's poly clinics will substantially loosen one of the corner stones of the NHS- a named GP's exclusive relationship with his/her patient created by himself/herself. The patient can see any GP in a polyclinic (in a way quite different from a group practice). As a private medical insurance holder, I now see a specialist only if my GP agrees. But in polyclinics, as I understand, I can walk-in and see a doctor who can refer me to a visiting specialist sitting in next room instantly without my GP's permission. My GP then is no longer a 'gatekeeper'. The polyclinics can be set up by Richard Bronson, SKY TV or a brewery chain or the Indian Billionnaire Mittal. Alan Milburn, if he has his way will substantially privatise the GP and hospital services in a manner that the last Major government was too scare to even think. Indeed, it is Andrew Lansley, the shadow health Secretary, and not Lord Darzi who wants to preserve the traditional GP links with the patient and is opposed to the idea of polyclinics.

Anonymous said...

This was done ages ago

http://www.di2.nu/files/Lefty.html

BrianSJ said...

Melanie Phillips
Fascist: Someone who doesn't do exactly what I tell them to do.

Anonymous said...

Miller 2.0: proof that, thanks to our wonderful NHS, the brain dead can be taught to speak again.

trinitylaw said...

Erm, was their list of definitions supposed to be a parody? I thought it summed up most of my views really rather well.

Anonymous said...

D is for Deprived areas: Complete and utter shit-tip, usually run by a Labour council.

H is for Hard-working families: Potential tax-credit recipients and therefore potential Labour voters.

S is for Stakeholders: Payroll vote.

E is for Elitist: Any British institution that still works. Must be stamped out.

D is for Diversity: No whites

I is for Investment: Spending taxpayers' money, double letter score if "Investment" is in Black Lesbian Gypsy outreach workers.

D is for Dromey: Mrs Harriet Dromey, who would be prime minister if it weren't for fascist right-wing men.

And I'm spent.

Anonymous said...

"Lessons to be learned": we fucked up, we don't know how or why and we'll no doubt do it all again in the near future (or should that be "going forward"?)

Anonymous said...

If the original article was meant to be satire on their part then apart from taxing younger drinkers more I regret to say that I tick all of their boxes and therefore remain a staunch and proud Conservative!

Bring on the next election.

Anonymous said...

"Thatcher's legacy": Useful phrase for filling in gaps in argument.

"People who should not be in prison": Criminals.

"These children": Young criminals.

"A woman's right to choose": Abortion on demand.

Windsor Tripehound said...

"we have made it perfect clear that..." = "I'm lying"

Anonymous said...

From my own leftie A-Z:

TOYNBEE: Originally a device used on ships to pull a ladder up, in order that others behind may not advance. Now commonly used as a metaphor ("Right, I've got that Guardian Column and the Tuscan Villa, where's that Toynbee?)

MARR: A method of interrogation designed to put a suspect at total ease, often completely ineffective.

YUNNOW: Slang term used by either a FLINT or COOPER to indicate problem with understanding issue being discussed.

MILLIB-HAND: A style of writing used to indicate complete loyalty, whilst giving an impression of downright treachery.

Tony said...

Iain, you could just lift parts of Inigo Wilson's Lefty Lexicon... but it would probably result in a campaign by a certain group to boycott your publications.

Anonymous said...

Sweden: A place where the publicly spirited people feel genuinely guilty about not paying their fair (sic) share. A perfect, crime-free society where people have baths, dinners and sex in communes whilst reading the Guardian.

Anonymous said...

Real Londoners: inhabitants of North and East London. Emphatically not the vulgar bean counters of the 'burbs. As in "of course, real Londoners didn't vote for Boris".

NHS - "The envy of the world". Unless you are French, German, Swedish, Canadian, Australian American...

Cuban Holidays: Must always be taken before Castro goes.

"But what about...?": Sentence usually completed by "Israel". Pavlovian response to just about any criticism of leftist totalitarian/Islamist regime.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps this listing from john Brignell, of PC & "environmentalist" vocabulry is what you are looking for. Coincidentally it also starts with alcohol & has a shorter but not more friendly definition.

http://www.numberwatch.co.uk/vocabulary.htm

Electro-Kevin said...

It's quite hilarious to see myself described so accurately by the opposition here (referring to the original post).

Anonymous said...

Cath Aug 10th 9.29pm

Right-wing blogs - Internet websites where the selfish, bigoted, racists openly discuss (without the removal of unPC posts)our kind, tolerant, liberal left-wing achievements.

Civilized right-wing blogs - The above but you are in danger of seeing that they have a good point.

Anonymous said...

D is for Dromey: Mrs Harriet Dromey, who would be prime minister if it weren't for fascist right-wing men.

No, no. Mrs JACK Dromey, please! (See the Speccie's wonderful prank a few years back that so infuriated Mrs Peter Bottomley.)

Heresiarch said...

My version is a bit too long to reproduce here, but here's the link.

Astro-Turf Lawnmower said...

AMERICA: Evil capitalist aggressor and the source of nothing good in the world (except BARAK OBAMA)

BBC: Impartial news organisation that rightly dominates its programmes with stories about CLIMATE CHANGE and BARAK OBAMA

CLIMATE CHANGE: Mortal threat to the whole world that will kill us all by the end of next year unless we stop driving cars and heating our houses

DAILY MAIL READER: Anyone middle class, whose views are to be ignored as FROTHY MOUTHED

ETON: School that all TORIES went to

FROTHY MOUTHED: Anyone who thinks that perhaps immigration could be limited in some way

GUARDIAN: Newspaper that carries vacancies for OUTREACH WORKERS and campaigns against CLIMATE CHANGE, but ironically is kept afloat by Autotrader

HARMAN, HARRIET: Valiant campaigner for women, whose rightness is demonstrated by the bile directed at her by men (who are all SEXISTS)

INVESTMENT: Public spending e.g. IT IS RIGHT that we increase INVESTMENT in SCHOOLS AND HOSPITALS

IT IS RIGHT: Anything the Labour Government does

JONAH: Nasty term of abuse hurled at our glorious Prime Minister, who brings happiness and good fortune to all those he meets, everywhere he goes

KILLJOY: Nasty term of abuse hurled at Government Ministers when they are rightly banning things the proles/upper classes like doing (smoking, fox hunting etc)

LABOUR PARTY: Rightful Party of Government in the UK

MCCAIN, JOHN: Fringe candidate in the US Presidential Election, not covered by the BBC

NIMBY: Anyone opposed to eco-towns, wind turbines or other unwelcome physical structure beloved of the LABOUR PARTY

OBAMA, BARAK: Sole candidate in the US Presidential Election, according to the BBC

OUTREACH WORKERS: Vital public servants, without whom the country would descend into anarchy

PARENTS: Couple to be encouraged to live apart through clever use of the tax and benefits system

QUEEN: Evil witch who lives luxurious lifestyle at the expense of the working classes

ROCK, NORTHERN: Solid financial institution run by loveable Geordies and worth every penny of the billions in taxpayers' money poured in so far

SCHOOLS AND HOSPITALS: What will be cut to the bone if public spending is not allowed to grow at an exponential rate

SEXIST: Middle class man

TORIES: Preferred word for "Conservatives", it being easier to say with a spitting sound

UNDERCLASS: Labour voters to have taxpayers' money firehosed at

VED: Tax on evil cars that cause CLIMATE CHANGE that must be increased massively. Or not. Working on this.

WHEELIE BINS: Items to be closed properly and filled with certain defined items only on pain of large fines and/or imprisonment

X-RAY: Camp erected by Americans in the otherwise socialist paradise of Cuba where peace loving Afghans are evilly brutalised

YES: Sole word permitted to be spoken by anyone working for Gordon Brown

ZEAL: What public servants are supposed to demonstrate when issuing fines to speeding motorists and WHEELIE BIN criminals

Anonymous said...

CRIME: An emotive, weasel word invented by the Daily Mail.

Anonymous said...

RAPE - generic word meaning demand by any woman for immediate imprisonment of any man for any reason whatsoever, though often involving man having spent insufficient money to fully meet the woman's estimate of her own worth; all such demands being justly rewarded with £11,000 of public money as compensation.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, you don't seem to have got it do you?