To: Rt Hon Ann Widdecombe, Batley in the Moors, Devon
Dear Ms Widdecombe,
I would like to say I am surprised by the tone you have taken in the enormous, disgusting controversy over Anne Milton's appalling plan to stop giving children milk at schools. But your proto-fascist, terrifying illiberal views are no longer surprising to people of conscience in this country, especially those of us who have had time to analyze you over the years.
The fact that you would happily allow children to starve in schools without the precious, life-sustaining daily 1/3 pint of sun-enhanced milk fits exactly into the view we on the left have of you. You are a monster, the perfect text-book example of a Heatho-Thatcherite crypto-Disraeliist, and your willingness to condemn children to the agony of a milk-free existence is just another example of that.
Children need milk to survive, that is, I hope, common cause between us. That the milk should be provided by the taxpayer through the state is a principle that even the most hard hearted Tory should understand. Without state provision of milk, children could grow up thinking the state is uncaring and impersonal, and that the people responsible for all their care is their parents. What sort of a message would that be to send out?
When I mentioned Anne Milton's letter to a small focus group of my constituents on Monday morning, one of them, 'Mad' Eric Wintergate, explained how, as a child, he had been affected by the hated Margaret Thatcher's removal of milk for children at school. He developed rickets, and can now only be comfortable sitting on an overturned oil drum.
Is this the future you want for our country's children? If you don't, now is the time to do the right (actually the left) thing and denounce Anne Milton.
Geraldine Dreadful MP
* With due thanks to Ben Archibald of Nabidana.com