Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Top Ten Lines Not in Darling's Budget

10. Tax Cuts, you want tax cuts? I'll show you tax cuts.
9. Let them eat cake.
8. You know last year's budget? We made it up.
7. And for my fifth reannouncement...
6. Iain Dale's new Audi will be exempt from the new £1,000 band of road tax.
5. And this year the real rate of inflation is 12% and rising.
4. We believe in the Laffer Curve.
3. And after the last ten years, it's been left to me to pick up the pieces.
2. See that wall over there? That's the one I'm going to let Northern Rock go to.
1. Do you seriously think I wrote this pile of crap?

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

We're all f**ked. I'm f**ked. You're f**ked. The whole economy is f**ked. It's the biggest cock-up ever. We're all completely f**ked.

Marquee Mark

Nothos said...

You forgot number 11:

"Okay, I admit it. These aren't my real eyebrows"

Seriously, what the hell is up with them?

Anonymous said...

Is there any reason why the budget details shouldn't be published ahead of the parliamentary debate?
Brown took advantage of the present system with his last budget as Chancellor, when he promised a 5% cut in Income Tax, right at the end of his speech.
There was no time for Cameron to work out that the 5% was made up elsewhere.
Unless the Opposition have time to consider the budget details, any sensible debate is out of the question.

Yak40 said...

Under the EU Jackboot, all will be perfekt.

Newmania said...

Why 12% especially ?

Bill Quango MP said...

TEN MORE

10] I could not possibly commend this budget to the house
9] A further increase in allowances for MPs
8]We need the money so Supercasinos back on the agenda.
7]its true , we just made up global warming for tax reasons.Actually its a little bit colder.
6]I admit it. It is the Constitution
5]erm.. education education, education?
4]The troops are coming out of Iraq. [but going into Iran.]
3]Sorry for the halting delivery but I only got this 20 minutes ago.
2]And this budget will prepare the way for the election in early 2009
1] Well, that's the end of me.

cassandra said...

Gordon Brown wrote the Budget and Gordon Brown decided the contents!
Darling decided NOTHING and Darling contributed NOTHING!
WTF? IF Darling had an original thought or idea his head would explode and Gordon Brown would sack him!
WTF? Darling is a glove puppet and a walking tape recorder, nothing more!
You can imagine the scene clearly as Darling is summoned to No10 and given the budget and you can almost hear him stutter, but Gordon, I have a few ideas about the bu.... Gordon Brown cuts him off mid sentence and shouts, when I want your f***ing opinion Darling, ill give it to you! Now get the f**k out my office and send in Marr! I feel like a little light relief!

If it were not so sad it would be hilarious eh?

simon said...

What is it with Labour Chancellors and f'n eyebrows!

Dave Cole said...

With apologies to Humphrey Bogart...

"Budgets? We don't need no stinking budgets."

And yes, I know that's not what was said in Sierra Madre

xD.

machiavelli said...

Can you say "crap" on this blog?

Billy said...

Anonymous said: Brown took advantage of the present system with his last budget as Chancellor, when he promised a 5% cut in Income Tax, right at the end of his speech.
There was no time for Cameron to work out that the 5% was made up elsewhere.


And yet David Laws managed it in time to give Ming the advice.