Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Not a Good Start to the Day

When you are staying five miles outside Blackpool and you're hoping to make a speech in a debate, what's the worst thing that can happen to you. Yup, got it in one. You leave your speech behind. So much as I would like to hang around and gossip, I can't, right? I've got a speech to write rewrite.

If you want to see if I make a reasonable hash of it, tune into BBC Parliament from 11.30am... At least you can admire the very nice tie I'm wearing today, which has gone down very well with the Blackpool policemen. And I'm ahead of you on that one, so behave.

23 comments:

  1. It will be better second time round. You will remember it almost verbatim. But improve it as you commit it to paper.

    This is not satircial. This is experience tapping.

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  2. Just say "tax cuts", "lock em up", "send em home" and "leave the EU". You'll go down a storm in Blackpool and shouldn't alienate more than 70% of the population, especially not of the saddos who'll be watching BBC Parliament today...

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  3. chris paul - the experienced public speaker? You cannot be serious...

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  4. Sam, if you think politics is for saddos what are you doing on a politics blog?

    3/4 of those policies would win a landslide at the election in 2009.

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  5. Friggin hell Iain! Why write out a full speech?!?! A sheet of a4 with bullet points should suffice- after all, you've only just written the full thing out!

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  6. ed; Problem is that the election is likely to be sooner than 2009.

    In any event Brown(I will make no major announcements on policy or on troop reductions until Parliament has been told) has just announced ,in Baghdad, troop reductions of 1,000 from Iraq by year end. This, of course, has nothing to do with the fact that its the Tory Conference this week - purely co-incidence. Although perhaps he's got the wind up having heard Iain Dale is to address conference this morning and needs to re-take the news agenda ? Your renown takes all before you - Iain. It's even got the PM into a panic enough to make him break his word to Parliament.

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  7. And now we're going down with/on Blackpool cops.

    You're way ahead of me there, boy.

    God, the pace....

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  8. err ed, try to pay attention - the saddos are the ones watching the Tory conference on a TV. Still I suppose it would eliminate that unpleasant niff of old folk that you'd get if you were in the Winter Gardens...

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  9. Chris Paul - no doubt he'll thank you for that particular lexicon. Your advice is always treasured here. You legend you.

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  10. Iain, I'd shag you if you were a woman ! Mwah ! Mwah !

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  11. Sooner than 2009?

    Brown doesn't have it in him.

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  12. The best way to get through a speech is to imagine John Prescott in the nude and bending over. Try it, Iain!

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  13. My guess is that Iain will just hook his laptop up to the autocue and read off some of the comments on his blog!

    Job done...

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  14. Extra Extra, read all about it : Dale goes down well with Blackpool Policemen!

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  15. Just watched your speech Iain. I'm was very impressed and very moved. I'm glad you managed to hold it together, talking about such an emotional subject. Very well done.

    Yet another great speech from an excellent conference.

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  16. Good speech.

    Nice Tie (in a Joseph's amazing technicolour Dream-Tie kind of way).

    Interesting cutaway to Edwina Currie while you were talking......

    Is there something we should know?

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  17. You were great - you would have never known that you had a senior moment and forgot your speech!

    The utmost blagger in the UK eh? Was that a Freudian slip?!! A spanking with a wet noodle for Nicola!!!!

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  18. A very good speech Iain. From the heart. It was a speech of stature on a very difficult subject.

    Several speakers made good points and it was pitched just right and sshows people at their best. Well done.

    Can I plug a group I support? It can be found at www.vetaid.org and it is engaged in similar macro projects in Africa, for example (from their own site)

    * Providing animal health training and vaccinations
    * Supporting small business initiatives like beadwork and dairy produce
    * Distributing goats and chickens
    * Promoting land rights
    * Training in crop production
    * Providing water sources
    * Training local organisations and government staff.

    A family ravaged by AIDS may find that earning capacity is lost and the provision of a chickens supplies the family with a few eggs each day.

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  19. A 'Blagger' eh

    I read your opening remark as a light-hearted reproof to your introducer's Freudian slip. But I'm afraid the audience didn't get it and it fell a bit flat. A distasteful lack of chivalry was the first thought, quickly stifled by a confused 'surely not, did we missed something?'

    Never mind - the rest was A OK

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  20. I have just watched a recording of your speech. I thought it went down very well. Did you set up the "foremost Conservative blagger" introduction?

    I was very impressed by the moving speech from Zoya Phan pleading for help for the Burmese people.

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  21. For God's sake iain- you call that a speech! What a fuss over nothing! I suspect, once you got going, recalling your experiences over in Rwanda, you realised you didn't need to 'sweat' over sheets of a4 at all! You did fine btw!

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  22. I would like to have seen your speech on Conservative conference TV - why isn't it there?

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  23. Sam the speechwriter and sock muppet: did I say anything about being an experienced public speaker? No I did not.

    I am however very experienced in recreating documents I've previously drafted from memory.

    Whether it is a speech, a letter, an email or a report it is much the same process. A speech if anything should be easier.

    Have done a bit of public speaking including from conference platform and in fringes. But by some twisted sock puppet instinct you're quite right, it's not my main thang.

    Well done Iain. Ignore the horrible man behind the curtain and his super sad sock puppetry.

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