We're relaunching my Vox Politix programme on 18 Doughty Street tonight, and one of the new regular features is a David Letterman style Top Ten List feature. Tonight we will be doing THE TOP TEN REASONS MICHAEL ANCRAM SHOULD BE TAKEN OUTSIDE AND SHOT. Your suggestions please. I will kick off with Number 10
10. So he knows how the grouse feel
Over to you...
Because history shows us that executed martyrs are nearly always proven to be right.
ReplyDeletepour encorager les autres
ReplyDeleteleave him Iain, ee's not worf it...
ReplyDeleteBecause it would confirm Gordon Brown's comment that there are 2 factions in the Tory Party..
ReplyDeletebecause opposition will not be tolerated (say in mock german accent for the full effect)
ReplyDeleteBecause 'If you kill me, I shall become more powerful than you will ever know..'
ReplyDeleteBecause shooting the messenger has always proved an effective way of discrediting the veracity of a statement and ensuring that all others holding that view immediately see the error of their ways...
ReplyDeleteBecause if someone has hurt and upset you, it is always hugely beneficial to let them know how much they have hurt and upset you, and is no danger of showing that 'if the cap fits, you wear it'..
ReplyDeleteBecause our mother's advice that if someone bothers you, and you ignore them, they will either stop, or go and pick on someone else is a load of old bollocks..
ReplyDeleteto prevent any more of his god-awful folk singing
ReplyDeleteword verification - dudtip (such as you might get from the Ancramsaurus)
Because it might bump this story off the lead item for today's One O'clock News..
ReplyDeleteBecause it would re-assure Gordon Brown that we are squirming because he has landed a direct hit on the target...
ReplyDeleteBecause he's a bloody daft twit and doing the job of the nuLab by-proxy
ReplyDeleteAdvocating that an individual be shot by genuine comments isn't funny.
ReplyDeleteI didn't join the Tory Party in order that the Nothing Hill set can do my thinking for me.
9. It's how traitors used to be dealt with.
ReplyDeleteBecause we need to discourage the aristocracy from over-breeding.
ReplyDelete8. It's what the Labour Party does to people who don't share their opinion.
ReplyDeleteThere are too many aristocratic Tory MPs who think it's their god given right to rule. That's why they (along with MA) despise "focus groups" and other such dangerous modern nonsense.
ReplyDeleteBring back "one man , one vote" is their motto except their definition of man is "not gay, must have a name at least 6 words long and can count his family tree back to an illegimate son of some randy king.. usually Charles 1.
So they should be treated like Charles 1.
To put him out of my misery.
ReplyDeleteShoot him? What ever happened to free speech Iain?
ReplyDeleteIf you shut down every dissenting voice, it'll resemble the Labour Party, where hecklers get arrested under the Terrorism Act in scenes worthy of an East German Communist Party conference.
Besides, Ancram's an old duffer. Let him warble for all he wants. Instead, maybe Cameron should stop being "the quiet man" and get his message out instead...
Because it would be as well not to keep Labour in power on an indefinite basis.
ReplyDeleteHave anyone of you thought, just for a second, that Ancram may be right?
ReplyDeleteThe polls have moved in Cameron's favour WHY? Because he adopted a right wing approach and not before time!
Ancram has articulated the fears and concerns of most party members! Whilst he may not be singing from the Cameron Hymn sheet..lets not shoot the messenger.
The class rebels above are making rather large fools of themselves...What,if not a Toff is Cameron? Come on
give a little thought to someone who has given many years great service to the Tory party.
anon 12:50
ReplyDeleteThe line is actually
"If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine"
/why yes, I am a loser
6. Because he is a member of the Tory Party.
ReplyDeleteGary
Iain,
ReplyDeleteSTOP IT.
Ignore him.
The messages the Tories en masse should be putting out is that the Tube strikes are caused by Brown forcing PFIs on London, and the 'Brown Bounce' has gone.
all going after has beens does is divert attention away from what's important.
As Ralph says!
ReplyDeleteToday millions of Londoners are enduring travel chaos? Why? Because Gordon Brown's pet scheme has failed after a giant cost to tax payers already.
The PM forced in the Metronet PFI scheme, against the elected London Mayor. So much for a man who says he wants to listen.
And so what do the Tories do? You climb in a sack and start fighting over the words of a has-been.
For the greater good.
ReplyDeleteBecause the House of Commons fossil collection is already large enough.
ReplyDelete'We are shooting you Michael, because talking the truth is not tolerated in Cameron's Conservative'
ReplyDeleteDo you think that's wise, sir?
ReplyDeleteI can think of 10 reasons Cameron should be taken outside and shot, as you put it.
ReplyDeleteI repeat my previous post. This is a cunning plan to make DC look good, different, and strong. Watch this space
ReplyDeleteBecause he does not appear to have been out much in the last ten years.
ReplyDeleteBecause shooting him inside would mean that you had to repaint the walls.
ReplyDeleteSince I am having a "find historical parralells" day, I think poor old Ancram is Admiral John Byng.
ReplyDeleteThroughout his Naval career Byng was beset with accusations of nepotism, which is strange since that's how the Royal Navey worked in the 18thC. Byng was also a Aristocrat, went into the Navy in his father's illustrious footsteps and was hated for it, being given apparently cushy postings and fast track promotion on the strength it.
He was court-martialled for "failling to engage the enemy" in dereliction of the Articles of War, and SHOT on his own quarterdeck.
The Newgate calendar remarked,
"Thus fell, to the astonishment of all Europe, Admiral John Byng who was at least rashly condemned, cruelly sacrificed to vile political intrigues."
Et tu Iain?
...because someone forgot to defrost the Turkey (or was that the 2001 manifesto)
ReplyDelete1) because he is guilty of skullduggery!!
ReplyDeleteThat's reason enough.
Iain, check out the Guardian article about this story.
ReplyDeleteNot only did the Guardian call you IAN - but their selective quoting of your blog/comments makes you sound silly.
I would complain if I were you!
Because after the natural demise of Ted Heath we have some bullets going spare
ReplyDeleteYou may, of course, nominate him him for a virtual hanging if you like, although Bob Crow appears to be the front runner at the moment.
ReplyDeleteBecause he's turned into Ted Heath - carping from the sidelines because no-one's paying him the attention he thinks he deserves.
ReplyDeleteBecause he believes in Heaven, so we’d be doing him a huge favour.
ReplyDeleteBecause it would make it easier to gain access to his lovely daughters.
ReplyDeleteBecause that would help confirm the Tory party is run by control freaks who brook no dissent and is thus quite unlike any other British political party...
ReplyDeleteSo he can’t steal the publicity that might have otherwise got the launch of some policies noticed – Or maybe practice shots for Dave C…. ;-)
ReplyDelete1...because he always uses 1,000,000 words when 10 would do.
ReplyDelete2..because his writing is staggeringly dull and pretentious
3..because he's disloyal to Cameron
4..because he's bitter about being overlooked and needs putting out of his misery
5...because he's too old for the modern political arena
6...because he's stupid enough to think that anyone cares what he thinks
Because he was off message in a one party state........
ReplyDeleteBecause we need to do everything in our power to reduce clubhouse asses.
ReplyDeletethe Marquis of Midlothian alias Ancram needs sending home to Scrotaland to join the SNP.
ReplyDeleteShooting with handguns is illegal dontcha know.
- Aren't dinosaurs supposed to be extinct?
ReplyDelete- "Green" stuff is high priority nowadays, right? Let's reduce the methane production by cutting out the bullshit he's producing.
More here.
Because there is a danger that this constituent of his might vote Tory again despite the leadership, and that would never do, it is "Cameron's Conservatives" remember, can't have nasty old Torys actually having a party they can believe in.
ReplyDeleteThe firing squad has other work to do first: Mercer and Bercow.
ReplyDeleteLets deal with the traitors first eh?
laurence boyce. you will not go to heaven, do not pass purgetory, do not collect your wings.
ReplyDelete(not because you are a trainspotting professional aetheist, but because you are so relentlessly effing boring.)
Why is Winston Smith in Man in a Shed's Shed.
ReplyDeleteWe should be told.
Coming from you Weasel, that can only be a compliment. By the way, what’s an aetheist? Somebody who doesn’t believe in air?
ReplyDeleteEncitement to murder is a crime, even for someone you disagree with. I guess the conservatives are not ready for people not sticking to the party line,
ReplyDeleteOh, dear, I thought this was a broadsheet blog...
Because you are not allowed to smoke someone indoors anymore.
ReplyDeleteFoot in Mouth disease?
ReplyDeleteBecause it's not as far to the rubbish heap?
ReplyDeleteCameron is a new labour mole pushing dodgy, incoherent policies in an attempt to make the tories unelectable.
ReplyDeleteAncram's in danger of blowing his cover and must be terminated at the earliest opportunity.
Recommend doing it inside if at all possible to avoid unnecessary attention and using poison or a garotte rather than shooting: less messy.