Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Top Ten Terrible Tories

That blogging minx, Penny Red, has written a bizarre piece for the Fabian Review which lists her Top Ten Terrible Tories. Unfortunately it is not online, so I thought I would list them for you here.

10. Iain Duncan Smith
9. Dan Hannan
8. Roger Helmer
7. Nadine Dorries
6. Michael Ashcroft
5. John Redwood
4. David Cameron
3. Andy Coulson
2. Margaret Thatcher
1. Jacob Rees-Mogg

Quite what JRM has done to Penny Red is best left undiscussed. But I am very disappointed by Lord Ashcroft's lamentable sixth place. He really does need to up his game :).

Now you know what's coming. Who would you nominate for your Top Ten Lamentable Labourites?

35 comments:

  1. 10. Kinnock
    8. Prescott
    9. Bradshaw
    8. Hewitt
    7. Draper
    6. Whelan
    5. Campbell
    3= Balls
    3= Harman
    2. Brown
    1. Blair

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  2. The Brown Stain, Harridan, Two Jags, Millipede minor, Irritable Jowell Syndrome, Postman Plod, Ed Gonad, Ali Campbell, Sunny Hundal, Eddie Izzard. ( Only ten? )

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  3. Top ten Lamentable Labourites:

    10. Woodward S.
    I mean, come on!

    9. Prescott J.
    For services to farce.

    8. Maguire K.
    For looking in his shaving mirror each morning and resisting the urge to cut his throat.

    7. Balls E.
    Bollocks.

    6. Mandelson P.
    Smarm, gush, bluster and bully...in no order.

    5. Benn T(!)
    If he is a National Treasure than so is Su Pollard.

    4. Blair T (!!)
    Give me one reason why not.

    3. Short C.
    Drama Queen, nasty pretend professinal conscience of the "movement".

    2. Whelan C.
    Funny guy, loyal to PM, witty, engaging. Actually a twisted opportunist with a vindictive personality who gives the bile duct a run for its money.

    1. Brown G.
    Sociopath, hater of England, malignant loser. Bastard.

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  4. All the following were Labour and are lamentable:

    Derek Hatton
    Robert Kilroy-Silk
    George Galloway
    Harold Wilson
    Dennis Skinner
    Michael Martin
    Alan and Anne Keen and all troughers
    Gordon Brown
    Glenys Kinnock

    and of course...
    Oswald Mosley.

    Most took their collectivism into the realms of communism or fascism, or were gits, or both.

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  5. I'm not sure Cameron is a strong enough or dreadful enough character to be as high as he is - he's really just a bit ordinary.

    Tebbit has to be in there somewhere. As does Liam Fox. And there's something about Dominic Grieve that irritates me irrationally - not sure why.

    As for Labour...call me sexist, but pretty much any woman who's been in the cabinet in the last 13 years has been a disaster. Jowell and Hewitt are top of the pile for me, but Smith and Harman would be in the mix somewhere. Comedy villain Mandelson will no doubt feature prominently, but for me when all's said and done he's the most brilliant politician of our times so I find it hard to say a bad thing about him - you have to admire his deft touch, even if you don't agree with a word he says. I'm always pretty awestruck by him.

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  6. Yeah, that Michael Ashcroft is a bad man, and no mistake. I mean, he founded the charity Crimestoppers and is still a major donor to the charity today. If that doesn't make him a bad man, I don't know what does. Boo! Hiss!

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  7. 10 Brown
    9 Brown
    8 Brown
    7 Brown
    6 Brown
    5 Brown
    4 Brown
    3 Brown
    2 Brown
    1 Brown

    Next question ?

    Alan Douglas

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  8. Gordon "no more boom and bust"Brown
    Gordon "fair" Brown
    Gordon "equality" Brown
    Gordon "sell gold cheap" Brown
    Gordon "slackjaw" Brown
    Gordon "McBride's mate" Brown
    Gordon "America is to blame" Brown
    Gordon "the troops got it all"Brown
    Gordon "tripartite supervision" Brown
    Gordon "son of the manse" Brown

    In any order you like.

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  9. Why are you leaving the Lib Dems out of this, do you still think they do not count?

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  10. Only ten? Could do a hundred without effort..still, in reverse order of incompetence

    10. Hoon
    9. Byers
    8. Kinnock
    7. Hain
    6. Ainsworth
    5. Flint
    4. Smith
    3. Morris
    2. Prescott
    1. Brown

    And in reverse order of evil

    10. Margaret Beckett
    9. Jack Straw
    8. Tom Watson
    7. Des Browne
    6. Harriet Harman
    5. Alistair Campbell
    4. Peter Mandelson
    3. Tony Blair
    2. Ed Balls
    1. Gordon Brown

    ReplyDelete
  11. I met a man from the Unite trade union. He told me he’d bought a political party at a knock down price. He seemed very pleased.

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  12. What has Ashcroft actually done to earn that status? Is it a capital offense for a non-dom to donate money to the Tory party now? It's not like he does much bloody else! Where's Ted Heath in that list eh etc.

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  13. My two out of my three 'favourite' Tory MPs/MEPs are in that list (John Redwood and Daniel Hannan (the other being Douglas Carswell) so I guess I must be doing my choosing somewhat correctly!

    Favourite = agree with a lot of their politics.

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  14. Who I hate in Labour:
    1: Gordon Brown
    2: Harriet Harman
    3: Lord Mandelson
    4: Gerald Kauffman
    5: Ed Balls
    6: Sion Simon
    7. Emily Thornberry
    8. Tom Watson
    9: Liam Byrne
    10: Nick Brown

    I hate them all; the one I hate most is Gordon Brown – Nasty piece of work!

    ReplyDelete
  15. 1) Gordon Brown
    2) St Anthony Blair of Basra
    3) Ed Balls
    4) Charlie "Huntin', shootin' fishin'" Whelan
    5) Mr MacBride (source E. Balls)
    6) Odious McShane
    7) Jacqui "Arrest him" Smith
    8) Patricia "What's in it for me" Hewitt
    9) Harry Harman and her tame Dromey.
    10) Ed Balls. (So bad he deserves 2 spots).

    So many more worthy contenders, but, even in a very crowded field, no place for Lord Slime. Shame. Maybe next year.

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  16. All of them, except Frank Field, who is a great bloke.

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  17. Damn, I was preparing this but I’ve been beaten to it! @Chris and @Alan Douglas


    Hmmnn... tough one. But I’ll go with:

    ‘Mendacious’ Brown
    ‘It started in America’ Brown
    ‘I agree with Nick’ Brown
    ‘Prudence’ Brown
    ‘The military got all the equipment they asked for’ Brown
    ‘No return to Boom and Bust’ Brown
    ‘I’m Middle Class’ Brown
    ‘Hard working Families’ Brown
    ‘World Statesman of the Year 2009’ Brown
    ‘Now is a good time to sell our gold’ Brown

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'll tell you what Iain, in the spirit of less punch and judy politics and given a lot of people dislike the more personal side of such skirmishes, why don't you do a list of Top Ten Labour and Lib Dems you respect as opponents. To be fair, I'll do a similar list from a Labour perspective.

    ReplyDelete
  19. 1. Brown
    2. Balls
    3. Hain
    4. Cooper
    5. Harperson
    6. Mandelson
    7. Hattersley
    8. Woodward
    9. Draper
    10. Beckett

    ReplyDelete
  20. 10. The BBC
    9. The BBC
    8. The BBC
    7. The BBC
    6. the BBC
    5. The BBC
    4. The BBC
    3. The BBC
    2. the BBC
    1. Have a guess

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  21. Lol, amazing that they hate Cameron more than Helmer and Hannan.

    Not even hatred is principled nowadays!! :P

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  22. Frank Field and Kate Hoey are the only two Labour politicians I could ever vote for. Darling is bearable and I suspect might have a chance of being a half decent chancellor without Brown's interference

    On the other hand if IDS comes in a top ten list of "terrible Tories" then it really can't be such a nasty party after all. The likes of McShane wouldn't even make the worst 20 Labourites. Says it all really.

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  23. I was going to suggest lukewarm libdems, but can anyone actually name as many as 10?

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  24. ouldn't keep it to 10, but here's a bunch grouped by their particular problem.

    Keenest Class Warriors
    Purchase, Skinner, McCabe

    Worst Champagne Socialists
    Harman, Booth, Follett

    Most Abusive Of Their Office
    Moran, Uddin, Prescott

    Most Nannying
    Cooper, J Smith, Foot

    Most Dangerous
    Ahmed, Mandelson, Byrne

    Closest To Weimar
    Balls, Campbell, McBride

    Party Before Country
    Brown, Draper, Mann

    Thickest Lefties
    Prescott, David Wright, Waltho

    Anti-British
    McDonnell, Dismore, Livingstone

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  25. All of the above - plus Diane Abbott, Margaret Hodge, Yvette Cooper and Phil Woolas. I'd also like to include Baroness Toynbee of Tuscany.

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  26. Only allowed to choose 10?

    Impossible.

    I suppose at a push I can leave of some of lesser loathesomeness.

    John Prescott
    Patricia Hewitt
    Ed Milliband
    Harriet Harman
    Ed Balls
    Peter "Swiss Tony" Hain
    Athony Charles Lynton Blair
    Gordon Brown
    Peter Mandelson
    Jacqui Smith

    and a couple of hundred spineless PMQ "Would the Prime Minister agree with me..." toadies too.

    Special mention to Michael Martin, and Bob Quick for their part in the arrest of Damian Green. A filthy episode where Labour earned shame and contempt that should never be forgiven.

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  27. In the order I scribbled them down on a paper napkin:

    Ed Balls
    Alastair Campbell
    Derek Hatton
    Gordon Brown
    John Prescott
    Arthur Scargill *
    Peter Mandleson
    Sion Simon
    Harriet Harperson
    Stephen Byers
    Damien McBride

    * not in Labour any more so I get to choose 11.

    ReplyDelete
  28. @Paul Burgin
    OK here's my list of Labour/Libs I've respected through the years:

    Frank Field
    Ming Campbell
    Paddy Ashdown
    Cyril Smith
    Jim Callaghan
    Tom Harris
    Barbara Castle
    George Robertson
    Alastair Darling
    Gwyneth Dunwoody

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  29. Not one mention of a Milliband yet, which just doesn't seem right somehow. I accept of course that the competition is extremely stiff.

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  30. It's a very hard list to compile, but here goes...

    10] Tony "McNumpty" McNulty
    09] Elliot "Phantom Mortgage" Morley
    08] Hazel "Rock The Boat" Blears
    07] Kevin "Comical" Maguire
    06] Stephen "Taxi" Byers
    05] Harriet "St. Paul's" Harman
    04] Ed "Bert & Ernie" Miliband
    03] Ed "Mr. McBride" Balls
    02] Gordon "Bust & Bust" Brown
    01] David "Where's my spine" Miliband

    I can't bring myself to include Mandelson because although I loathe him, I also can't help admiring him at the same time. He's so very good at what he does, yet what he does is so awful! It's a pickle.

    ReplyDelete
  31. 10. Stephen Byers
    9. John Stonehouse
    8. Reg Prentice
    7. Woodrow Wyatt
    6. Ramsay MacDonald
    5. Oswald Mosley
    4. Desmond Donnelly
    3. Robert Kilroy-Silk
    2. John Marek
    1. George Galloway

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  32. In passing...

    @jailhouselawyer Why are you leaving the Lib Dems out of this, do you still think they do not count?

    Having read their proposals for economic policy, I fear you may well be correct.

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  33. Iain, are you miffed you didn't make Laurie's list? ;)

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  34. 10. Prescott
    9. Bradshaw
    8. Hatton
    7. Scargill
    6. Primarolo
    5. Kaufman
    4. Harman
    3. Balls
    2. Brown
    1. Mandleson

    Can't believe I'm the only one to pick Red Dawn!

    ReplyDelete