My sister rang this evening to tell me about an 82-year old auntie of a friend of hers. She sadly had a stroke on Boxing Day and was admitted to hospital in Brighton. The doctors suspected she might have dementia so they embarked on a series of tests. Eventually, the doctor turned to Auntie and asked her who the prime minister is, to which her response was "that fucking bastard Gordon Brown"!!!*
True story. Honest.
*I know I don't alow swearing on this blog, but context is everything, eh? Somehow it just wouldn't have been the same with asterisks.
You ********* hypocrite.
ReplyDeleteAs you said suspected demetia!
ReplyDeleteOldsters, eh? Where DO they learn to swear like that? I blame their £$%*ing parents and the £$%*ing telly!
ReplyDeleteAn interesting story, Iain!
Well they can rule out dementia then,the old girl obviously still has all her marbles!
ReplyDeleteMy Mum passed away yesterday morning. She had been in hospital for a while having suffered a fall in early November.
ReplyDeleteWhen Mum had her fall my first question upon reaching her was "Who is the Prime Minister?" to similarly check whether she had suffered a stroke. Her answer was "Gordon Brown".
My follow up question being "Do we like him?".
Her answer: "No, we most certainly do not."
I asked the questions and she answered them every day up until Monday.
Thanks Iain, this story made me smile.
Just a thought...Your sisters auntie wasn't named Ms Hewitt by any chance?
ReplyDeleteShe sounds like my kind of gal
ReplyDeleteSounds like my kind of gal.
ReplyDeleteMy Mother died of many causes, including senility. While her memory gradually deteriorated to the point that she had to be reminded who her visiting children were, she could always remember that Tone was the PM, and always followed up with "You can't trust him, he's slimey." Ian may be many things, but on this one, he's not a hypocrite
ReplyDeleteRoffle
ReplyDeleteSend he home immediately. There's nothing wrong with her
So I take it the diagnosis was that there was nothing whatsoever wrong with her? :)
ReplyDeletePottymouth!
ReplyDeleteI presume she passed that test with flying colours.
Ha ha. Good story Iain,
ReplyDeleteAnd well done for a bumper lot of enjoyable posts for your snowbound readers.
Did you hear Toenails on the BBC News at 10?
He came out with the names of six Cabinet Ministers who refused to endorse Brown.
They were waiting to see what would happen.
Now they'll go to ground until the next "plot".
What larks eh!
It is a well recognised test of dementia - because those with dementia don't have a current memory for who the Prime Minister is unless they are very notable indeed. For the demented (but previously OK) the answer was for a long time Winston Churchill. He was only replaced by the next great prime minister Margaret Thatcher. To the demented even 20 years on she is the last notable prime minister. So your relation is both entirely sane and rational as well as a fine judge of character.
ReplyDeleteNick King. Deepest sympathies. It only happens once to you, and it's the most horrible day of your life I imagine.
ReplyDeleteLovely story about your mum though.
No, indeed we do not like him!
Clearly, this lady is a fine judge of character, quite sane and should be wished well. In our house, my wife and I don't swear at all, with the exception of renaming our Prime Minister "Gordon f***ing Brown", and he isn't someone we discuss in front of the children. I was mortified when my 9 year old daughter told her friend that "Daddy doesn't like Gordon f***ing Brown"...
ReplyDeleteI see that over on the Coffee House there is growing unhappiness with Fraser Nelson's daily carping at Cameron (much talk of cancelled subscriptions and baleful Barclay Bros influence).
ReplyDeleteI have a question.
The Tory party is supposed to be the party of business.
Why did they allow their two core media supporting journals (Telegraph and Spectator), to fall into the hands of the Scottish, Brown supporting Bros ?
Is it just because they know that the MSM is doomed, and after all, business comes before party loyalty ?
Good girl! Hope all well and getting better. Want to swear behalf of that Auntie right now but not quite sure how to do it. My vote is confirmed.
ReplyDeleteShe should be foreign secretary.
ReplyDeleteHer contempt for Gordon Brown would be less thinly veiled than that of the incumbent.
Have just written about this, but why isn't there more coverage of David Milliband's statement? It seems to allow for and signal the possibility of a leadership challenge immediately after the election.
On Christmas Eve I met a man in a local tavern who told me that he was suffering with terminal cancer. He had named his tumour "David Cameron" because:
ReplyDelete"It's not too bad now but I know it will f*ck me in the end."
Not a word of a lie. About the joke or, unfortunately, the cancer.
I'd like to have seen the doctor's face if he'd asked her to name anyone in the cabinet, and she'd answered 'Balls'.
ReplyDeleteThat would have assured her complete recovery and also that of the patients in the adjoining beds...!
She's on the mend, your chum's auntie!
Ha ha ha!
ReplyDeleteIf this country has the misfortune of having another 10 years of Labour then I'm sure that any criticisms of our Glorious Leaders will be considered a mental deficiency.
ReplyDeleteDimoto, do tell us how the Conservative Party could have stopped legitimate business deals? And how they could stop unsympathetic editors being appointed?
ReplyDeleteEagerly awaiting your response.....
Good for her - there's nothing wrong with her mental faculties, then! :-D
ReplyDeleteLove it!
ReplyDeleteWell said your Aunty.
ReplyDeleteAt least she can still speak the truth. Tell your sis to give your Aunty a hug from me by way of a thank you?
So absolutely no sign of dementia then.
ReplyDeletePresumeably, her description of the PM was all one word as in
Thatfuckingbastardgordonbrown which is how he is commonly known.
My late mother, who was a gentle soul, described Margaret Beckett as "that lying bitch"
ReplyDeleteExcellent.
ReplyDelete@Nick King -- please accept the condolences of a stranger.
@Judith
ReplyDelete"Dimoto, do tell us how the Conservative Party could have stopped legitimate business deals? And how they could stop unsympathetic editors being appointed"?
Well, Judith, why don't you hazard a guess as to what proportion of business owners/high wealth individuals in the UK are Labour supporting.
Then join me in observing that most newspaper proprietors/editors now have sycophantic relationships with the Brown clique.
A deliberate strategy by Labour and friends perchance ?
Furthermore, (getting a bit paranoid here), most high-profile media political columnists/editors seem to have been married off to Labourite wimmin !(It's a bit like Chinese emperors marrying off their daughters to hostile tribal Khans)
Doesn't strike you as a wee bit odd ?
BTW, I am not one of the Spectator "dissidents".
sounds like catherine tate...hahaa
ReplyDeleteAnd with that they wisked orff to the funny farm.
ReplyDeleteA spokesman explained, that such negative feelings for such a warm hearted and honest man, who is doing his job in such a capable fashion, in the face of global adversity, is the sign of a mal and mis-adjusted pysche, and perhaps portends the early signs of dementia or perhaps more sadly, toryitis, with is a sad and deadly disease, and treatment often results in death.
Such a shame that this hospital cannot treat the disease, it will require transfer transfer to Broadmoor.
I wonder what she thinks in the next few years when she needs the NHS.Will she be treated quicker..hehe
ReplyDeleteA woman goes to her doctor and complains that he husband of 6 weeks has no interest in sex. He gets into bed, pulls a picture of the Queen and one of Prince Philip out of his bedside drawer, kisses each one in turn, puts them back, turns over and goes to sleep.
ReplyDeleteDoctor tells her to wait until he goes to work, then she should steal the pics, have exact replicas tattooed to the insides of her thighs and to hide the originals.
So, she does this and waits for bed-time. Hubby looks in the drawer and finds no pics. He asks his wife where they've gone. In reply the wife lifts her nightie and spreads her thighs. Immediately hubby bends down and kisses the Queen on her right thigh, then, as he's moving over to kiss Prince Philip on her left thigh, he stops in the middle, takes a long look at her bush and asks his "Who's that?". Wifey replies "That's Gordon Brown - and you know what he wants....."
The same happened to my mother in hospital. Unfortunately, she thought the question was so inane that she sarcastically answered 'Ramsay MacDonald'. Not a wise move, really.
ReplyDeleteFrom the BBC News:
ReplyDelete"Asked whether he was concerned about the length of time it took (over six hours) for some cabinet ministers to publicly oppose the ballot Gordon Brown said all had issued statements backing him "within an hour or two"."
Nothing this man ever says is true. How does he get away with lying all the time?
http://cyberboris.wordpress.com/2010/01/07/what-they-said/
ReplyDeleteWhat Labour ministers said about Gordon.... and what they meant!
I think you can get away with swearing now and again Iain. It reminds me of the time my gran was coming out of fairly heavy sedation and was asked by a young doctor and while he couldn't disagree with the sentiment of her answer -"that f*cking cow thatcher" - it was 1995 at the time. Old folk eh?
ReplyDeleteGet your groove on! http://bit.ly/4qTKmz
ReplyDeleteNew song for Lab Party conference! The Back Stabbers by the fab. O. J's.
Play it now!