political commentator * author * publisher * bookseller * radio presenter * blogger * Conservative candidate * former lobbyist * Jack Russell owner * West Ham United fanatic * Email iain AT iaindale DOT com
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Never a Truer Word Spoken
Credit to the Birmingham Head Teacher who introduced Ed Balls to her students with the words...
"You will remember Mr Balls. No sniggering please."
A new teacher arrives at her school; her name is Miss Franny. As the head is taking her to introduce her to her class, he keeps saying to himself "I must remember the "R", I must remember the "R"!"
He then takes her into the class and announces:
"Children, I'd like you to meet your new teacher, Miss Crunt"
"Mr Balls............" And of course not forgetting the other old chestnut from our schooldays that brought forth sniggers from the "lower third" - Isaac Hunt !
We shouldn't let Balls' funny surname obscure the fact that he is a bullying, smug incompetent of the highest order who in any normal, halfway-decent government wouldn't have advanced beyond junior PPS.
Andrew Efiong: I really, really hope you get your wish and Balls gets to lead his party. He would damage its credibility with the electorate even more than his political mentor has done. Anonymous @ 0827. It's still not as arresting as the Mandelson carrot-clenching strut, is it?
Well, of course he should have changed his name. He wasted a brilliant opportunity when he married Yvette: he could have gained a huge feminist following by becoming Mr Cooper.
It should be noted that Ed Balls's grandfather E.K. Balls was a notable professional plant collector, after whom a variety of miniature lilies is named. He also served his country by leading the British Empire Potato Collecting Expedition to South America in 1938-9.
His father, Michael Balls, is a distinguished zoologist who has advised the government on animal welfare.
I don't think many people giggle when their names are mentioned, or when ordering the popular irises.
His first name really ought to be "Terry"...
ReplyDeleteHe's like the pantomime villain for many!
ReplyDeleteBut I think the Conservatives should call off the attacks on him.
For a start it's cheap and personal but above all, he's the only minister with poll ratings that come close to Brown.
So I would be delighted if he were to lead the Labour Party, they would be polishing the leather of opposition benches for many years.
Preferably said in her best Joyce Grenfell voiice!!
ReplyDeleteor added on with, " ...which just goes to show, children, that even mediocre students can hold positions of power."
Why does Alistair Darling walk like a puppet from Thunderbirds?
ReplyDeleteYou've met Mr. Greedy, Mr. Rude and Mr. Lazy. Well now children, I'd like you to meet Mr. Balls. Er...
ReplyDeleteAs someone with a slightly embarrassing surname, I can feel his pain.
ReplyDeleteWhat it said was that schoolchildren giggle at names that sound silly.
ReplyDeleteMove along now, nothing to see here.
A new teacher arrives at her school; her name is Miss Franny. As the head is taking her to introduce her to her class, he keeps saying to himself "I must remember the "R", I must remember the "R"!"
ReplyDeleteHe then takes her into the class and announces:
"Children, I'd like you to meet your new teacher, Miss Crunt"
... I'll get my coat.
On then subject of never a truer word said Brown said yesterday that it would take 92 years to turn the economy around.
ReplyDeleteBe glad his first name isn't Richard, Dickie Balls?
ReplyDelete*snigger*
Not worthy of a blog. Why should this be the continuous source of comment. Is the man to change his name?
ReplyDeleteBoothroyd - humour?
ReplyDelete"Mr Balls............"
ReplyDeleteAnd of course not forgetting the other old chestnut from our schooldays that brought forth sniggers from the "lower third" - Isaac Hunt !
Further demonstration that there will never be 'Prime Minister Balls'. Just say it to yourself a few times.
ReplyDeleteWe shouldn't let Balls' funny surname obscure the fact that he is a bullying, smug incompetent of the highest order who in any normal, halfway-decent government wouldn't have advanced beyond junior PPS.
ReplyDeletePut that Ed Balls had said that the Crosby Report was on the Chancellor’s desk and asked when it was likely to be published, the PMS said that he had not heard Ed Balls say that and that he did not think it was on the Chancellor’s desk. We were still waiting for Crosby to report. As we had been saying last week, the latest information was that people could expect something in a month or so.
ReplyDeleteWell I for one heard Ed Balls saying exactly that on the Andrew Marr show this Sunday gone. Who is lying, Ed Balls or the PMS ?
There could well be something in a name as far as this man is concerned. Imagine having to go through the public school system with a name like Balls.
ReplyDeleteAndrew Efiong: I really, really hope you get your wish and Balls gets to lead his party. He would damage its credibility with the electorate even more than his political mentor has done.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous @ 0827. It's still not as arresting as the Mandelson carrot-clenching strut, is it?
I've always thought that his first name should be 'Talking'.
ReplyDeleteIain, Cyber Nat's comment at 9.59am.
ReplyDeleteIt's worthy of a post from yourself. It's a real faux pas from Brown and you have to ask if he imagines himself as still living in 1997.
Ed Balls is the main reason Yvette will never make PM. Imagine Britain having a PM who had very probably fellated Ed Balls! No, neither can I.
ReplyDeleteWell, if I had a silly surname or one which related to genitalia, I'd change it by Deed Poll ... oh hold on.
ReplyDeleteEd and Yvette Balls aren't known as Labour's golden couple for nothing.
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous 11:14 AM
ReplyDeleteApparently the PMS will only comment on things he has heard - hence the earplugs.
Well, of course he should have changed his name. He wasted a brilliant opportunity when he married Yvette: he could have gained a huge feminist following by becoming Mr Cooper.
ReplyDelete"Why does Alistair Darling walk like a puppet from Thunderbirds?"
ReplyDeleteYou would too if you'd had Brown's hand up yer arse.
Sniggering? They must be the Economics class then!
ReplyDeleteIt should be noted that Ed Balls's grandfather E.K. Balls was a notable professional plant collector, after whom a variety of miniature lilies is named. He also served his country by leading the British Empire Potato Collecting Expedition to South America in 1938-9.
ReplyDeleteHis father, Michael Balls, is a distinguished zoologist who has advised the government on animal welfare.
I don't think many people giggle when their names are mentioned, or when ordering the popular irises.
Unlike when the name of young Ed comes up.
Going through a poublic school with a name like Balls might have been unpleasant.
ReplyDeleteGoing through the type of schools that nu Labour wants everybody else to go to would be a lot more unpleasant.