10. Being Geoffrey Robinson's accountant
9. Being Michael Portillo's mirror
8. Being the person who sets Harriet Harman's or Grant Shapps' computer passwords
7. Being Boris Johnson's diary secretary
6. The Tory economist who decides how to share the proceeds of growth
5. Being John Prescott's speechwriter
4. Being John Prescott's interpreter at EU summits
3. Being Gordon Brown's mobile phone
2. Being Nick Clegg's Y Fronts
1. Being Chancellor of the Exchequer when Gordon Brown is Prime Minister
Do feel free to suggest your own...
9. Being Michael Portillo's mirror
8. Being the person who sets Harriet Harman's or Grant Shapps' computer passwords
7. Being Boris Johnson's diary secretary
6. The Tory economist who decides how to share the proceeds of growth
5. Being John Prescott's speechwriter
4. Being John Prescott's interpreter at EU summits
3. Being Gordon Brown's mobile phone
2. Being Nick Clegg's Y Fronts
1. Being Chancellor of the Exchequer when Gordon Brown is Prime Minister
Do feel free to suggest your own...
Being Melissa Kite's sub editor
ReplyDeleteBeing Gordon's pschoanalyst
ReplyDeleteBeing Gordon Brown's anger management therapist. Whoever it is must be working overtime at the moment.
ReplyDeleteThe Lib Dem's EU policy strategist.
ReplyDeletebeing tony blair's masseuse
ReplyDeleteBeing Cherie Blair's dentist.
ReplyDeleteBeing Theresa May's chiropodist.
ReplyDeleteBoris Johnson's stylist
ReplyDeleteBeing Tony Blair's confessor
ReplyDeleteWriting witticisms for Jack Straw to deliver.
ReplyDeleteMaintaining "Iain Dale's Diary"
ReplyDeleteOops!
Being Iain Dale ;P
ReplyDeletePrime Minister, Home Secretary, Chancellor in an economic downturn.
ReplyDeleteKen Livingston's gardener
ReplyDeleteBeing General-Secretary of the Labour Party(apparently)
ReplyDeleteBeing Gordon Brown?
ReplyDeleteBeing Her Majesty's Prime Minister
ReplyDeleteBeing Hazel Blears' yellow pages
ReplyDeleteBeing Ken Livingstone's gardener
ReplyDeleteBeing Iain Dale's police liason officer
ReplyDeleteBeing Gordon Brown's political agent
ReplyDeleteBeing Gordon Brown's dentist. Imagine trying to work with that jaw going ito spasm, and all those bogies stuck to his teeth.
ReplyDeletehilarious - your best top 10 yet. But gotta go. Dr Who is on. And he has a daughter!
ReplyDeleteBeing John Prescott's dinner, knowing you are in for a round trip.
ReplyDeleteBeing the Labour Party's beauty therapist
ReplyDeletebeing Iain dales Blackberry?
ReplyDelete1. Being Chancellor of the Exchequer when Gordon Brown is Prime Minister
ReplyDelete1a . Being Prime Minister when Gordon Brown is Chancellor of the Exchequer.
being Iain Dale?
ReplyDeletebeing the PMs official spokesman
ReplyDeletePeter hains Tan applier.
Being Verity's straitjacket
ReplyDeleteBeing John Prescott's jock strap. (or any of the MacMafia's)
ReplyDeleteKen's gardener defo wins. poor guy, imagine the whining!
ReplyDeletebeing Mrs Gordon Brown
ReplyDeleteBeing a decent human being
ReplyDelete1. Being LibDem's leader
ReplyDelete( sqeezed by the other two parties
and standing at an obsure place in the House of Commons muttering questions)
2. Being LibDem's spin doctor
(figuring out what they stand for)
3. Being PPS to 'so what' Balls
( listening to the crap he dishes out)
4. Being Red Ken's newt
( sick and tired of his attention after Boris kicked him out)
Being Ann Widdecombe's fitness trainer.
ReplyDeleteBeing Verity's carer.
ReplyDeleteAugust 31, 2007 4:46 PM , Laurence Boyce said...
ReplyDelete"Anyway, all I really want to say is that if Boris Johnson becomes Mayor of London, I shall kiss Donal Blaney's arse."
At one time Boris Johnson's diary secretary was the very fragrant and utterly professional Melissa - you should ALL be so lucky!
ReplyDeleteDon't believe me Iain? Ask Boris..
Hey Mr Anonymous, that's really funny. Please make sure you say it every time.
ReplyDeleteAugust 31, 2007 4:46 PM , Laurence Boyce said...
ReplyDelete"Anyway, all I really want to say is that if Boris Johnson becomes Mayor of London, I shall kiss Donal Blaney's arse."
Laurence Boyce said...
"Hey Mr Anonymous, that's really funny. Please make sure you say it every time."
We are still waiting for you to act on your promise (or a grovelling withdrawal would do).
Really? Who's "we"? Donal certainly hasn't been in touch. I'm not quite sure what to say. I actually wanted Boris to win in the end (having totally forgotten my promise before Dale brought it up). Perhaps I'll send Donal a small gift. The sayings of Nelson Mandela maybe.
ReplyDeleteYou have an instant gap in your top 10, Iain; Portillo is not a politician. Or have you somehow not noticed that he has held, and sought, no political office or position since 2005?
ReplyDeleteFollowing Verity's theme,
ReplyDelete1)Gordon Brown's manicurist. No nails and, urrgh, where has that index finger been?
2) Eric Pickle's chair.
A Hansard writer after a John Prescott speech.
ReplyDeleteJohn Prescott's Diary Secretary.
Working for lazy Boris Johnson.
ReplyDeleteDave H - Or a Hansard writer trying to get hold of Ed Balls to ask him how he wants his comments to appear in the verbatim record ...
ReplyDeleteDes Browne's almost invisible role at the Scottish Office as Wendy and Gordon bypass him 100%
ReplyDelete1)Being Ed Balls' psychiatrist.
ReplyDelete2) Being David Milliband's moustache.
Being the Lib-Dem candidate for London Mayor
ReplyDeleteNo.10 IT man (needing to fix all those keyboards Gordy breaks)
ReplyDeleteNo.10 typist - being shouted at all day by Gordon the Moron
No.10 cleaner - having to sterilise the whole place after seeing where Gordon's finger has been...
Ed Balls - well, just for being exposed as a ****er to the whole nation, instead of just the Westminster Village
Ed Balls - for the 'services' he has to render to Gordon
But...
It has to be Alistair Darling - for taking all the flak for his predecessor's cock-ups! Worst job since Norman Lamont...
Best job - those who have to count Labour votes in by-elections. Money for nothing!
being Wendy Alexander's press officer
ReplyDeleteBishop Brennan said...
ReplyDelete"Best job - those who have to count Labour votes in by-elections. Money for nothing!"
Pathetic.