political commentator * author * publisher * bookseller * radio presenter * blogger * Conservative candidate * former lobbyist * Jack Russell owner * West Ham United fanatic * Email iain AT iaindale DOT com
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Great Ripostes of Our Time: No 94
From tomorrow's Independent on Sunday...
Comedian Jim Tavare opened on stage with the line: "Hello, I'm a schizophrenic", to which one audience member's riposte was, "Well you can both f*** off then."
He's clearly not very educated. Thinking you're 2 (or more) people is Multiple Personality Disorder, not schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is when you can't tell what's real and keep imaging things.
Andy Goram, the Rangers and Scottish goalkeeper,was diagnosed as being schizophrenic. At his next match the crowd chanted 'There's only two Andy Gorams.'
Counterfeit alert. Another emotional inadquate is up on its hind legs trying to masquerade as me.
verity said...
Surely if he was any good as a lover he'd have burned off the calories from the biscuit. Unless they were real, f***-off massive biscuits. May 18, 2008 8:25 AM
Sad, inadequate little thing, aren't you, little imposter? Pretending to be a girl. Pretending to be a man. What a needy little life!
The Independent seems to be developing a cruel streak. It recently described the governments behaviour as 'spasic'
ReplyDeleteBrilliant!
ReplyDeleteaudience member at Rich Hall gig: "how come you got so fat Rich?"
ReplyDeleteRH reply: "cause every time I f****d your mother she gave me a biscuit"
He's clearly not very educated. Thinking you're 2 (or more) people is Multiple Personality Disorder, not schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is when you can't tell what's real and keep imaging things.
ReplyDeleteI hope Jim then explained slowly and carefully the difference between schizophrenia and MPD.
ReplyDeleteTony Kennick - V good!
ReplyDeleteWho is Jim Tavare. Never heard of him.
ReplyDeleteO/T apols if you've seen this, but the Campaign for a Witangemot rolls on...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i13uwJympzk
11:58,
ReplyDeleteSurely if he was any good as a lover he'd have burned off the calories from the biscuit. Unless they were real, f***-off massive biscuits.
Anon is right...technically speaking having more than one personality is MPD but this made me laugh nonetheless....
ReplyDeleteNot sure that counts as a great riposte, Iain. I suppose Pete & Dud had a classic sketch about an amputee.
ReplyDeleteAndy Goram, the Rangers and Scottish goalkeeper,was diagnosed as being schizophrenic. At his next match the crowd chanted 'There's only two Andy Gorams.'
ReplyDeleteCounterfeit alert. Another emotional inadquate is up on its hind legs trying to masquerade as me.
ReplyDeleteverity said...
Surely if he was any good as a lover he'd have burned off the calories from the biscuit. Unless they were real, f***-off massive biscuits.
May 18, 2008 8:25 AM
Sad, inadequate little thing, aren't you, little imposter? Pretending to be a girl. Pretending to be a man. What a needy little life!
I think they were confusing schizophrenia with Multiple Personality Disorder.
ReplyDelete