Sunday, December 02, 2007

Not That I am Saying My Daughter's a Slapper, But...

At the Christening we went to today there were an unusual number of speeches from assorted parents, Godparents and grandparents. Quote of the day was this, from the baby's maternal Grandfather.
"Well at least we know who the father is..."

And then there was silence, followed by nervous laughter. The poor man carried on to say that he was referring to the growing number of single mothers. But I suspect his daughter will have been none too impressed!

Any of you got any similar stories of embarrassing parental moments?

17 comments:

  1. What a first class political blog. I'm impressed.

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  2. Anonymous Conservative. Do try to find your sense of humour. It's probably hidden under the sideboard. In case you hadn't noticed, this is a diary. so it includes the off personal observation as well as hardcore politics. For some reason, most of my readers seem to like it that way.

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  3. Iain, maybe it's because anon con wasn't so lucky as to know who his father was, I think you hit a raw nerve!!

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  4. You're getting touchy, Iain. Did CCHQ not bother to tell you about the Tory operation to expose those Labour donors?

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  5. You're not a Conservative at all, are you? I suspect you are one of the Labour trolls who infest the comments on this blog whenever their beloved party is in trouble. Ie most of the time nowadays. I'm not touchy at all. I just find it hilarious when idiots leave comments like this. Run along now.

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  6. I said as part of my wedding speech as bridegroom that men of the local town could now walk the streets in safety. Surprisingly my marriage only lasted 2 years.

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  7. About one in ten of those who 'know who the father is' don't actually!

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  8. How about the 90 year old grandfather who said "May all your ups and downs be in bed".

    Faux pas?

    yikes...

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  9. Just for the record I quite enjoy these little non-political interludes and I'm sure many others do too. Personally I wouldn't pay too much attention to AnonCon, they certainly seem to be a minority.

    One particularly embarrassing moment for myself was when my grandmother told my pregnant girlfriend how apparently, prior to my relationship with her, the family had all thought that I was "a lesbian". My grandmother then described how she hadn't been too concerned as "we're used to that sort of thing these days".

    Swansea Blog

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  10. absolutely class!sounds like a wedding speech from 'four weddings...'.fabulously incorrect-full marks to the old geezer iain.

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  11. yeah, I enjoy these posts. It makes this blog fun to visit even if you're not in a very heavy political mood.

    The Right Student

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  12. Kind of along the same lines, my wife & I went to ante-natal courses before the birth of our twins. At various timeswe had "breakout" sessions when we went into little groups toi discuss things, or do an exercise, usually with the mums-to-be in one group, and the dads-to-be in another. After one such session discussion "hopes and fears" my wife came back to report that one of the pregnant mumus had said in her group I just hope to god the baby looks something like my husband".

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  13. Many, many years ago, taking my son (8) and daughter (7) through a very crowded but quiet Chamber of Horrors at Mme Tussauds -

    daughter, peering in at recreation of Jack the Ripper's exploits: 'who'se that lady lying on the floor?'

    me, without thinking: 'it's a dead prostitute.'

    daughter: 'what's a prostitute?'

    (everyone in queue waits for an answer with baited breath ...)

    son, helpfully: 'it's a different kind of Christian'.

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  14. No, but one of my all-time favourite ads was that Carte D'Or ice cream one where a family are having a meal and a young man asks his Dad to pass something across the table, to which the Grandmother pipes up; 'He's not your Dad! We don't know who your real Dad is!' followed by stunned silence and then English-style comments about how good the pudding is.

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  15. Many years ago I was drafted in at the last minute to be the best man at a friend's brother's wedding - the family and guests were all TT evangilical Christians. My role was simply to read out the cards and telegrams (remember them?). No speech required, thanks to their God!

    First up was one that said something like "John 13, verse 4". I couldn't resist saying "Sounds like a good result for John".

    Picture the tumbleweed rolling across the village hall floor.

    Needless to say I was the first into the Cock and Magpie across the road as soon as I had completed my humiliating contribution.

    I learnt from this that copious amounts of alcohol is a great comforter at times like this!

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  16. Best Man's speech at a wedding I attended began something like;

    "All of us who know Susie think she's a great girl, wonderfully friendly and outgoing, with a very active social life. But now she's settling down with Mark, maybe this is the moment to ask any of you guys who still have the keys to her flat to return them? Thanks."

    At which point a male guest walked up to the top table and dropped a key on it, followed by another, and another, and another.. then .the laughter began.

    A great set-up which left only some of the more elderly relatives clucking in shock.

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