Old Labour Pie (with Apologies to Don Maclean)

I'm sure you all remember the song American Pie by Don Maclean. A couple of correspondents (Kevin Dalton & Liam Murray) have emailed me a new version. Anyone else got some good alternative song lyrics to share?

A long, long time ago... we can still remember how
the party used to make us smile.
And we thought if we had our chance,
That we could make the people dance,
And maybe they'd be happy for a while.
But Mandelson he made us shiver,
With every change that he delivered,
But things worked on the doorstep...
We only need one more step?.

We can't remember if we cried
When we found out that they had lied
Turned into something we despised
The day Old Labour died.

So, bye, bye our Pro-American guy
Had a bevy with Lord Levy ?cause the coffers were dry
Some good ol' boys gave us a loan on the sly
Singing now I?ll be a Lord when I die
now I?ll be a Lord when I die

Did you read ?The State We?re In?
And finish with a beaming grin
If the party told you so

Did you believe in British coal
Did Maggie chill you to your soul
Did Tony promise everything would change?

Well once, we were in love with him
'Cause we saw the polls and knew we?d win
And we thought the Union dues
Would banish those Tory Blues

We were a youthful, modern, sassy bunch
With pink carnations and prawns for lunch
but even back then I had a hunch
It was the day Old Labour died
We should be singing'...

Bye, bye our Pro-American guy
Had a bevy with Lord Levy ?cause the coffers were dry
So some good ol' boys gave us a loan on the sly
Singing now I?ll be a Lord when I die
now I?ll be a Lord when I die

Now for 10 years we've had Teflon Tone
Making No.10 his family home
But that's not how things are going to be

?Cause now bruiser Prescott?s made Tony scream
With a cowboy hat and a life obscene
And a wage that came from you and me

And while King Tony was looking down
Dave the Chameleon stole his crown
The voter?s heads were spinning
?Does if matter who is winning??

While Gordon read a book on Marx
Protesters gathered in the parks
We sang the Red Flag in the dark
The day Old Labour died
We should be singing'...

Bye, bye our Pro-American guy
Had a bevy with Lord Levy ?cause the coffers were dry
So some good ol' boys gave us a loan on the sly
Singing now I?ll be a Lord when I die
now I?ll be a Lord when I die

Helter Skelter another summer swelter
Blair bunked down in his fallout shelter
down in the polls and falling fast

A Party tired of their past
Old Labour simply couldn?t last
The Chameleon has victory in his grasp?.

Opinion polls show certain doom
New Labour types are prone to Gloom
But still they smile and dance
?cause the Liberals have no chance.

As the Tories tried to take the field
With their affairs and loans long concealed
What else could be revealed?
the day Old Labour died.

Bye, bye our Pro-American guy
Had a bevy with Lord Levy ?cause the coffers were dry
So some good ol' boys gave us a loan on the sly
Singing now I?ll be a Lord when I die
now I?ll be a Lord when I die

There we were all in one place
A once great party lost in space
With no time left to start again

So come on let?s be retro, let?s be old
Let?s be at our best but not that bold
'Cause Tony is the cause of all our woe?.

As we watched him on the stage
Our hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in hell
Could break this centrist?s spell

And as the polls dive deep right out of sight
Despite our headlong rush to the right
We see Cameron laughing with delight
because Old Labour died.

I met a voter who longed for the Blues
And I tried to remind them of more happy news
But they just smiled and turned away

I went back to that old Clause 4
Where we once took solace years before
But the men there said the mines had gone away

And in Iraq the children screamed
The soldiers died while politicians dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The apologies were token

And the three things we admired the most
The NHS, Schools and the Post
Are almost public sector ghosts
Since the day Old Labour died
We should be singing'...

Bye, bye our Pro-American guy
Had a bevy with Lord Levy ?cause the coffers were dry
So some good ol' boys gave us a loan on the sly
Singing now I?ll be a Lord when I die
now I?ll be a Lord when I die