political commentator * author * publisher * bookseller * radio presenter * blogger * Conservative candidate * former lobbyist * Jack Russell owner * West Ham United fanatic * Email iain AT iaindale DOT com
Friday, April 23, 2010
Appropriately Named Candidates: No 94
This is Mr Barry Allcock. No, really. That's his name. He's the UKIP candidate for Meriden.
Aren't there enough tossers in Parliament already, though?
As the government comes for the smokers, then the drinkers, then the motorists, then those who want to travel anywhere, how long will it be before the masturbators attract their attention? First a tax, then a ban: that is the way they work.
It is, after all, a sin. Look what happened to poor Onan, merely for a bit of well-intentioned coitus interruptus:
Genesis 38:7 And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him. 8 And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. 9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.
No I'm not actually. In case you haven't realised, nominations for candidates have closed. And that's me finished with trying to be an MP. I'll now be coming off the candidates list.
As the government comes for the smokers, then the drinkers, then the motorists, then those who want to travel anywhere, how long will it be before the masturbators attract their attention? First a tax, then a ban: that is the way they work.
ReplyDeleteIt is, after all, a sin. Look what happened to poor Onan, merely for a bit of well-intentioned coitus interruptus:
Genesis 38:7 And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.
8 And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.
He couldn't wear that T shirt in Saudi lol
ReplyDeletebet you wouldn't joke about his name if he was an ethnic.
ReplyDeleteYou can talk. You're looking for a safe seat.
ReplyDeleteHope he does not come to my door. I've just white-washed my door-step!
ReplyDeleteNo I'm not actually. In case you haven't realised, nominations for candidates have closed. And that's me finished with trying to be an MP. I'll now be coming off the candidates list.
ReplyDeleteErm...it was actually a joke regarding your sexuality.
ReplyDeleteYE GODS
Never mind Allcock, I'd settle for no Balls.
ReplyDeleteThere's a Richard Nixon running in Brigg and Goole for the Lib Dems.
ReplyDeleteOn that basis, arn't you a failed tosser?
ReplyDelete