Alan Sugar: That Was Then And This Is Now

Reading Alan Sugar's remarks (made by videolink) opening the Labour Conference yesterday, I was reminded of the old ABC song THAT WAS THEN BUT THIS IS NOW. It contained a paen of praise to the Prime Minister. If you have the stomach for it, you can read it HERE.

One thing we can all agree on that Gordon was the best Chancellor of the Exchequer this country saw for many years. Who better to be in place when we have an economic problem than him? And dare I say to those that are not happy: Get Out. Have the balls to get out. And those of you who are left: Get behind the Prime Minister in the times ahead of us.

Is this the same Alan Sugar who wrote a letter to the Financial Times on 19 March 1992?

Sir, I have noted with disgust the comments of a certain Mr Gordon Brown who has accused me of doing well out of the recession after reading the letter published in The Times from 40 top industrialists.

I do not know who Mr Gordon Brown is. Excuse my ignorance, but I don't. Whoever he is (shadow trade and industry secretary), he has not done his homework properly. The man doesn't know what he's talking about. How he has the audacity to say that Amstrad, or Alan Sugar, has flourished in recession is a complete mystery to me.

The reason Labour flourished many years ago was the 'them and us' situation that prevailed in England. There were the rich and there were the poor. At that stage maybe I would have sympathised with the need for a Labour government. But that's all been changed now. Look around. Yes, there are the very poor and more should be done for them. But almost everybody's got a microwave oven, a car and a colour television - maybe more than one colour television in their homes. Let's be honest with each other. 'Them and us' doesn't exist any more, as I have demonstrated.

I have been able to come from the working class, achieve what I set out to achieve and not be suppressed by anybody. Likewise, in the stock market today there are bright young men with a Cockney accent doing deals and buying and selling shares. It's not just the Heskett-Smythes mob that are doing it. Anybody can do it.

The government has made mistakes; nobody's perfect. To be sure, somebody took his eye off the ball. Now the belt has been tightened and there have been casualties. But it is not just the poor unemployed factory worker from the Midlands who is being thrown out of work. So are the merchant bankers, the stockbrokers and the estate agents.

Labour offers no sort of route out of recession. It's out of date and - as Brown's remark shows - it hasn't done its homework.

Well that told him! What a difference 16 years (and a Knighthood) makes.

Sunny Hundal & Nadine Owe Each Other An Apology

On 9 June, Sunny Hundal of Liberal Conspiracy made a complaint to the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner, accusing Tory MP Nadine Dorries of using public funds to pay for her blog. He wrote a 21 page submission of evidence.

Last week, Nadine posted on her blog saying that she had been completely cleared of any wrongdoing. Presumably, Hundal also received a letter from the PSC informing him of the decision. I have waited a few days to see if he might do us the honour of posting about it on Liberal Conspiracy, and maybe apologising to Nadine for the smear. But not a bit of it. He's remained silent on the matter. Just for the record, here's what the finding said...

The position is that no Parliamentary resources have been used to fund Mrs Dorries' weblog. Questions about whether its content is consistent with the rules in relation to Parliamentary funding do not therefore arise... No further action on any point is required, and therefore consider your complaint now closed.

The funny thing is that Nadine has accused Sunny of something far worse than what he accused her of. In her blogpost she accuses him of being a Liberal Democrat. Perhaps she should apologise to him too. Group hug, anyone?

Osborne Passes the Interview Test

The interview with George Osborne in the Mail on Sunday magazine today is well worth a read. It's online HERE.

It's easy to make a complete arse of yourself in interviews like this, so I was relieved to read George had done no such thing. Indeed, it was quite a revealing interview and showed that he is far from the 'toff' the Labour Party likes to make out.

Put an end to 'Hard Working Families'

Just received this email...

Any chance you can track how often the phrase 'hard working families' is used during the Labour Party Conference?

I have a hard working family, three kids all under six. I push them up those chimneys everyday. So when they are at home in the evening huddled around the single candle for heat listening to the wireless and hear that phrase they think Gordon is talking about them.

My wife would like to hear it but by then I've shipped her down the docks to wander the streets looking for old sailors- or maybe old stewards.

Seriously anything you could do to dissuade the use of this inane phrase would be a great service to the British public.

So, every time you hear it, be in a conference floor or fringe speech, feel free to catalogue it in the comments!

It's Wacaweek!

I thought the THIS WEEK sofa had plumbed the depths when Jade Goody's posterior was invited to grace it. I was wrong. I've just caught up with this week's show. I am still trying to recover from the fact that Timmy Mallett was a guest. Here's his opening piece of insightful analysis....

Andrew Neil: Are we good in this country, or bad at positive thinking.
Timmy Mallett: Wow, I've no idea. I don't really think about that particularly.
Andrew Neil: Are we a nation of pessimists?
Timmy Mallett: No, I'd like to say, er, we like to say the glass is half full except when we're at the bar I suppose, when we're at the bar and someone else as got the round in, in which case we say it's half empty and I'll have another pint please...

Do you think the THIS WEEK producers meet up each week and have a competition to think: who is the most ludicrous person we can invite on? Whoever had the bright idea of Timmy Mallett must have won by a landslide! Coming next week: Tyrone from Coronation Street.

Point of info: I wrote this before I discovered on Wikipedia that in 2002, Timmy Mallett forced West Ham United Football Club to stop selling copies of their mascot, Herbie the Hammer, in their club shop after he complained that it looked too similar to Pinky Punky. How very dare he.

Lock Him Up Before He Go Goes & Does It Again

Maybe I am being dim, but why exactly has George Michael been let off with a caution for being caught in possession of Crack Cocaine, a Class A drug? It's not exactly a first offence, is it? Whatever the arguments about cannabis, surely most people (apart, obviously, from those who would argue for the legalisation of all drugs) would agree with a zero tolerance approach to the possession of Class A drugs? The message George Michael's caution sends out is all wrong, and further confuses an already confused message about drugs.

The Telegraph Top 100 Left Wingers List

The Telegraph starts its serialisation of the Top 100 Lefties List today, compiled by Labour historian Brian Brivati and myself. Today's installment runs from 100 down to 76.

76. (NEW) PAUL KENNY
77. (NEW) KEITH VAZ
78. (-56) HILARY BENN
79. (-54) JOHN KAMPFNER
80. (-17) PAT McFADDEN
81. (-11) PETER MANDELSON
82. (-10) SUNNY HUNDAL
83. (NEW) IEUEAN WYN JONES
84. (-3) CHRIS McLAUGHLIN
85. (-10) SIMON WOOLLEY
86. (NEW) RAY COLLINS
87. (NEW) NEIL KINNOCK
88. (NEW) PHIL COLLINS
89. (-82) KEN LIVINGSTONE
90. (NEW) MARTIN McGUINNESS
91. (NEW) DEREK DRAPER
92. (NEW) LORD DARZI
93. (-23) NICK COHEN
94. (-16) STEVE RICHARDS
95. (NEW) ROBERT PHILPOTT
96. (-1) MICHAEL FOOT
97. (NEW) SALMA YACOUB
98. (NEW) JAG SINGH
99. (NEW) TOM HARRIS
100. (NEW) CHARLES CLARKE

Overheard at the Labour Conference: Part 94

My correspondents from Manchesterford have been busy overnight. One sent me this...

I don't know if you know, but Gordon Brown was speaking to a party members only event tonight in a large marquee outside the conference hall. The subject of his talk was international poverty and how he was going to go to the UN on Thursday to sort it all out. However, as he finished speaking and when people started flooding out of the tent, I heard a number of people complaining about what he said in the tent. The discussion that particularly sticks out in my mind is:

Labour delegate 1: "I don't give a f*** what he's doing for poverty around the world - I want to know what he's doing for poverty here, in this country. "

Labour delegate 2 nods

Labour delegate 1: "And I bet he doesn't even f***ing know what Facebook is"

And later, Alex Hilton was heard to exclaim to anyone who could hear that he is "beyond caring". Presumably about the effect of the LabourHome poll on his parliamentary candidacy in Chelsea & Fulham...

Facebook Group Comes to Gordon's Aid

Benjamin Gray reports that the only friends Gordon Brown seems to have are Tories. Labour blogger Luke Akehurst thought he was being helpful by setting up a group on FACEBOOK called WE DON'T WANT A LEADERSHIP ELECTION. He hadn't reckoned on the fact that it would be instantly supported by Tories. Indeed, so horrified is Luke that he has now closed the group and you have to be invited to join it ... which kind of defeats the object of setting it up in the first place. This interwebby thing is difficult to control, isn't it?

Tories Set for 146 Seat Majority Says Marginals Poll

PoliticsHome has published a YouGov poll in 238 marginal constituencies. It shows that the Conservatives are heading for a massive majority, as they take seats off both Labour and the LibDems. The poll was actually carried out in late July but more than 37,500 voter interviews were carried out, which makes it the largest of its kind. According to the poll the Conservatives would end up on 398 seats with Labour on 160 and the LibDems down to 44.

However, ComRes has a poll for the Independent on Sunday with the Conservatives down to 39% with Labour on 27% and the LibDems on 21%. This is the second poll in a row which shows the LibDems at 20% or over, and their rise in support is entirely at the expense of the Conservatives. There is an obvious conclusion to be drawn: Conservative inclined voters like the LibDem message on tax cuts. There's a simple way for the Conservatives to reverse this minor haemmorage in support.

Anyway, back to the marginals poll. It really is incredibly comprehensive. Anthony Wells of UK Polling Report explains HERE how it was conducted. You can download the 34 page report HERE. There are individual consituency reports available, but you have to pay for those - although rather unhelpfully it doesn't say how much.

The Daley Dozen: Saturday

1. John Redwood questions the need for more financial regulation.
2. Coffee House fisks Brown's Sky interview.
3. Dizzy on the LabourHome Poll and Tim Ireland's mendacity.
4. Kevin Maguire: "Miliband for PM". That would be Ed Miliband.
5. Lord Norton on the lack of interest from the public in Parliament.
6. Jon Craig meets some semi-detached Labour MPs.
7. Big Tommy reckons Big Gordon is a fibber.
8. Guido on the current financial crisis.
9. UK Polling Report explains the methodology of the new YouGov marginal seats poll.
10. Miserable Old Fart on Plaid and the Welsh Assembly referendum.
11. Ben Brogan wonders what Miliband has offered Alan Johnson.
12. Matthew Sinclair analyses a Reagan speech.

Top Ten Chat Up Lines Overheard at Labour Conference

10. Close your eyes and pretend I'm Tony Blair.
9. You know what they say about guys with huge portfolios?
8. Is that a composite motion in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?
7. Something's rising, and I'm not talking about the PSBR.
6. That's not my hand, but don't stop shaking.
5. I'm a close personal friend of Ed Miliband.
4. I'm stiffer than Des Browne
3. Would you like to see my inflation package?
2. I'd love to give you a standing ovation.
1. Hi, my name's Jack Straw.

With apologies to David Letterman

What is the Point of a £50 Note?

About two weeks ago I was given a £50 note. Since then it has stuck to me like superglue. No matter where I try to spend it, I am greeted with pursed lips and told: "Sorry, we don't accept £50 notes".

Will I ever be able to get rid of the damned thing, or is it going to be the monetary equivalent of herpes - with me for life? Not that I have got herpes, I should make clear. :)

The Logic of Labour's Argument

Listening to Shaun Woodward on ANY QUESTIONS I was struck by several things. Firstly, he seemed to acknowledge that this credit crisis had happened on Gordon Brown's watch and he should therefore apologise. I suspect it will be a cold day in hell before that happens. But apologise for what?

According to Woodward and his Cabinet colleagues, the banking crisis is almost entirely down to the effects of globalisation and the US sub prime mortgage market. I completely acknowledge that this is at least in part an entirely reasonable argument.

But if you don't acknowledge the failures in regulation and in public policy in this country and place the whole blame on external issues, you are implicitly, or tacitly acknowledging that if you were powerless to stop it, you are powerless to solve it. In short, you hold up your hand and say 'there' nothing we can do'. That is, of course, patently ridiculous.

The moment a government surrenders to external forces and says it can do nothing is the moment it also surrenders the right to be called a government.

Arise, Baroness Rowling of Hogwarts

I laughed out loud when I heard that J K Rowling had given £1 million to the Labour Party because, you know, they have been so brilliant on child poverty. Did it not occur to her that giving a childrens' charity the money might have been better bang for her buck, and improved the lives of far more children than giving it to a political party would.

Still, who am I to begrudge Gordon Brown a bit of good news as his party conference gets underway. It's about the only bit of good news he will get if this weekend's opinion polls are anything to go by.

I'm off to Upton Park now to cheer on Gianfranco Zola's claret and blue army. Shame that doesn't scan, or it would make for quite a good chant. Instead, I think I will settle for...

From Stamford Bridge to Upton Park we've got your Zola and your Clarke.

Exploding the Pompei Myths

When I was on ANY QUESTIONS a few weeks ago I met Mary Beard, a Cambridge Don, who writes a blog for The Times. She's just published a book on Pompei and has written a blogpost exploding some of the myths about the eruption of Vesuvius in AD79. There wasn't a brothel for every 75 men after all...

The Daley Dozen: Friday

1. Headhitter has come across an advance copy of Gordon Brown's conference speech.
2. Luke Akehurst launches a searing attack on LabourHome. Guido adds fuel to the fire.
3. The Daily (Maybe) says Rwanda can teach us lessons on equality.
4. Chris Paul frantically clutches at more straws.
5. Conservative History Journal on Tory ladies.
6. Jonathan Isaby on how the LibDems are about to lose the student vote.
7. Chris Ames says the Eco Towns decision is going to be delayed yet again.
8. Quaequam is considering quitting the LibDems (among other things).
9. Kezia Dugdale gets an inappropriate email from HBOS.
10. Jonathan Calder has a diary column from the LibDem Conference.
11. The conference diary of Tom Harris aged 13 3/4
12. Norfolk Blogger has marital strife over Nick Clegg's unwanted phone call.


NEW BLOGS

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CF National Executive
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New Edition of Total Politics Out Now

Read the free e-Zine edition of the October edition of Total Politics HERE, which has hit the newsstands today. Or, here are the text versions of some of the main features...

The art of political backstabbing by Sadie Smith
Conference season preview by Adam Boulton
Why Conferences are the highlight of the year for some by David Seymour
The best and worst conference orators by Simon Hoggart
Interview with Brendan Barber
Interview with Gwenllian Lansdown (chief exec of Plaid Cymru)
Jonathan Sheppard's Guide to Conference Networking
Review of the play Tory Boyz by Alan Duncan MP
If I were PM by James Whale
Book Reviews: Boris v Ken & Norman Fowler's A POLITICAL SUICIDE

There's a full list of articles HERE.

You can take out an annual subscription (27% off cover price) to Total Politics HERE.

If you're attending the Labour or Tory Party conferences you can pick up a free copy of the magazine and the Blogging Guide from our stand.

Try the Brown Calculator

I'm a bit late with this, but it's a rather nifty gadget from the Taxpayers' Alliance. Click on the image.

Obama Question

Quick question: who do you think is the most famous or influential British supporter of Barack Obama?