Alex Foster has a saga about his missed train today, so I thought I'd share my train ticket story with you too. Brace yourself. I arrived at Tonbridge Station this morning in plenty of time to get the 8.02 to Charing Cross. Or so I thought. Only one of the ticket machines worked (better than the normal none) so I bought my ticket like the good little one day a week commuter I am and proceeded to the barriers. I stuck my ticket into it and went to take it out...only there was no ticket emerging from the slot. The two barrier staff were mystified. "You can't have put a ticket in," they chorused. "Er, here's the return portion," I protested. "I don't think I've lost the outgoing ticket within the last eight feet." They looked bemused. "Well we'll let you through. I'm sure it'll be Ok at the other end," one of them said. "I think not. I want a replacement ticket, please," I said, knowing what the Nazi guards are like at Charing X. "We're not allowed to issue replacements," said Jobsworth Number 1. "No, we're not allowed to," said his oppo, who reminded me of the thug on Dick Emery who was always saying: "Dad, I fink we've got a problem." I'm sure you're bored already so I'll quicken this up a bit. In the end they agreed to give me a ticket receipt which said "Machine mangled ticket" but I had got to the platform before I realised they'd stamped it with yesterday's date. Back up to the ticket office. I just managed to get the 8.12, making me 10 minutes late for a meeting. All in a day's travel on South East Trains. Aren't you glad I shared that with you? Oh, and at Charing X? They never even looked at the bloody ticket...
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Lost Your Ticket? Do I Look Bovvered?
Alex Foster has a saga about his missed train today, so I thought I'd share my train ticket story with you too. Brace yourself. I arrived at Tonbridge Station this morning in plenty of time to get the 8.02 to Charing Cross. Or so I thought. Only one of the ticket machines worked (better than the normal none) so I bought my ticket like the good little one day a week commuter I am and proceeded to the barriers. I stuck my ticket into it and went to take it out...only there was no ticket emerging from the slot. The two barrier staff were mystified. "You can't have put a ticket in," they chorused. "Er, here's the return portion," I protested. "I don't think I've lost the outgoing ticket within the last eight feet." They looked bemused. "Well we'll let you through. I'm sure it'll be Ok at the other end," one of them said. "I think not. I want a replacement ticket, please," I said, knowing what the Nazi guards are like at Charing X. "We're not allowed to issue replacements," said Jobsworth Number 1. "No, we're not allowed to," said his oppo, who reminded me of the thug on Dick Emery who was always saying: "Dad, I fink we've got a problem." I'm sure you're bored already so I'll quicken this up a bit. In the end they agreed to give me a ticket receipt which said "Machine mangled ticket" but I had got to the platform before I realised they'd stamped it with yesterday's date. Back up to the ticket office. I just managed to get the 8.12, making me 10 minutes late for a meeting. All in a day's travel on South East Trains. Aren't you glad I shared that with you? Oh, and at Charing X? They never even looked at the bloody ticket...
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7 comments:
If ever the powers that be bring back That's Life and Adrian Mills is unavailable for any reason, I am sure the BBC will bear you in mind.
LOL :)
I imagine you got the train I often catch from Canterbury West that goes through Tonbridge. As real proof of the idiocy of South East Trains, I was once sitting on the train on a very nice summer evening expecting the train to stop at Canterbury when the driver FORGOT to stop the train at the station and just went on to the next station! In fairness to them, they did give us all taxis from Minster but still..!
What's your longest delay? November 2003. Six hours from Charing X to Canterbury W.
Why didn't they just open the machine and retrieve the ticket - someone in the station has keys!
There is an (apparently) true story involving Billy Bragg complaining to station staff about a malfunctioning gate and it being suggested to him that 'maybe you could write a song about it', so I guess blogging it is a more relevant and 21st centurery version.
As nobody else has...
Can someone remind me which bunch of fools it was that privatised the whole thing in the first place?
Answers on a postcard please.
Yeah, coz like you never got jobsworths before privatisation did you, eh? Feeble.
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