The Perils of Desert Island Discs

Whenever politicians go on Desert Island Discs you can be sure they will face accusations that their spin doctors have chosen the songs, rather than them. Having heard that David Cameron has chosen Ernie - the Fastest Milkman in the West as one of his songs I think you can safely say he will be safe from such accusations. I remember the ridicule Margaret Thatcher suffered when she chose Two Little Boys Had Two Little Toys. Listening to her justify the selection by entering into a lengthy discourse on the benefits of sharing was painful indeed. Now as I'm never likely to appear on Desert Island Discs (unless there's a new B List version being planned (!)) I thought I'd appall you with what my choices would be...

1. Forever Young by Alphaville
One of my favourite songs of all time

2. Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf
A mini rock opera whose words I know off by heart

3. Pachelbel's Canon
The most relaxing piece of music I know

4. Search for the Hero Inside Yourself by M People
A song with a message to those of us who may appear super-confident, but often aren't

5. One Blood by Terence Jay
From the movie Green Street - an ode to loyalty and fraternity

6. Jersusalem
A reminder of my green and pleasant land

7. Margaret Thatcher Speeches CD
To inspire and remember

8. Miss You Nights by Cliff Richard
To remind me of the people I love

Luxury item - My own pillow
Book - Animal Farm by George Orwell - to remind me of what my one man dictatorship desert island could become if I'm not careful!

I'm bracing myself for the onslaught of abuse...

Iain Dale's One Minute Guide to Today's Blogs

I've done a blog trawl tonight and recommend these links to you...

Stalin's Gran has some interesting views on Dr John Reid (for it is he) HERE. Paul Linford analyses the implications of a Hung Parliament HERE. Niles has a problem with his pussy HERE. Jonathan Calder's fed up with Mark Oaten HERE. Kiwiblog provides proof that New Zealand Labour language is identical to our own HERE. Stephen Pollard rages against the BBC's anti Israeli stance HERE. Guido's on the pull HERE. Not. Malcolm Rifkind's in trouble HERE on ConservativeHome. Ellee Seymour invites us into her gorgeous garden HERE. Boycie from Only Fools & Horses is a Tory says Recess Monkey HERE. Dizzy thinks Fiona Millar doth protest too much HERE. Backing Blair has a new fundraising idea for Labour HERE. Conservative History Journal looks at the life of Lord Acton HERE. Tax Freedom Day is celebrated by the Adam Smith Institute Blog HERE. SpinBlog has more questions for Cherie HERE. Antony Little tries not to discuss Big Brother but fails HERE. James Cleverly asks if PMQs matter HERE.

Justice for England

As many will know from previous postings, I am in favour of an English Parliament. It is now Conservative Party policy to "make devolution work". The only way of doing that in the long term is for the English to be given the same constitutional rights as the Scots and the Welsh (whose Assembly should now become a Parliament). There is a new campaign called Justice For England, which has some rather nice merchandise. The objective of Justice for England is to try and get as many people as possible to purchase a ribbon or badge and wear it with pride, to demonstrate support for ending the discrimination that England faces. Click HERE to learn more.

LibDems May Have to Repay £2.4 Million Donation

The Electoral Commission has just released the following statement, which will send a shudder down the backs of many a Liberal Democrat...

25 May 2006 - For immediate use
Statement about donations to Liberal Democrats from 5th Avenue Partners Ltd

Following discussions with the City of London Police, the Electoral Commission has decided to await the outcome of the police investigation of the financial affairs of 5th Avenue Partners Limited and its director before considering further whether 5th Avenue Partners Limited’s donations to the Liberal Democrats last year met the tests for donations to political parties by companies. Between February and May 2005, 5th Avenue Partners Limited made donations totalling around £2.4million to the Liberal Democrats. In October 2005 the Commission took the view that, based on all the evidence which the party had, and subject to any further information becoming available, it was reasonable for the party to regard the donations as having been permissible (See Note 2). There is currently an investigation by the City of London Police and separate legal proceedings concerning the financial affairs of 5th Avenue Partners Ltd and its director. It is possible that further information will become available that may be relevant to the issue of whether these donations were permissible. The Commission has therefore decided to await the outcome of the police investigation before considering this matter further, and will be liaising closely with the City of London Police over the coming weeks.

As I understand it, legally, the LibDem members are jointly and severally responsible for paying the money back - which would cost them about £35 each. If I were them I'd be investing in a few begging bowls just in case...

Now, to all those LibDems who accused me of hyping this up and thought it was a 'non story' when I first raised it back in January and February (see HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE) I think you'll have the good grace to accept that this is a serious matter which the Party must now address. Of course, if proper due diligance had been carried out by Lord Razzall on Michael Brown (pic), this sorry state of affairs might have been avoided.

Sign the Petition to Force Cherie to Apologise

Click HERE to sign the following petition

To: Number 10 Downing Street
We believe that raising funds for the Labour Party by auctioning copies of the Hutton Report signed by Mrs Cherie Booth QC is an act of appalling bad taste and is disrespectful to the family of the late Dr David Kelly. We further demand that: • Mrs Cherie Booth QC publicly apologises for her conduct on this matter • The Prime Minister apologises for the misconduct of the Labour Party in this matter. • That the Labour Party donates any funds raised from the auction of this item to an appropriate charity, matched by a similar donation from Mrs Cherie Booth QC

The First Review of the Little Red Book

There's a very amusing review of The Little Red Book of New Labour Sleaze at Blairwatch. A touching highlight...

I'll delegate the review to my son, aged two and currently potty training.
*points at book cover*
"TOILET"
"DOG"
"BLAIR"
"UGH"

The Strange Case of 'Dr' John Reid's PhD

John Reid loves to be called 'Dr Reid'. Call him Mister and his eyes seem to twitch. He has, after all, got a doctorate so has every right to be called 'Dr'. However, no one ever seems to have traced a copy of his PhD thesis, which I am told was on the economy of a Nigerian warrior king. I always thought PhDs were publicly available for others to use as reference sources, but it seems that Reid's work of wisdom has been classified as 'closed'. I wonder why this would be. In the words of the late Sir John Junor, 'shouldn't we be told?' All information to the usual email address please!

UPDATE: It's interesting to note that Dr Gordon Brown is also entitled to be called Dr, having also got a PhD (I don't know what in), but he positively doesn't like being called Dr Brown. Man of the people, you see.

UPDATE 10.37 My correspondent Jeremy Brier reveals from a trawl through Stirling University's website that Reid's doctorate is titled Warrior aristocrats in crisis: the political effects of the transition from the slave trade to palm oil commerce in the nineteenth century Kingdom of Dahomey. Blimey, he really does deserve it then! Now, has anybody actually seen a copy or can anybody procure it? I think it deserves a review...

UPDATE 11.03 I'm not sure what I have started here! A correspondent tells me that Gordon Brown used his 'Dr' title when he first stood for Parliament in 1983, signing his election address 'Dr Gordon Brown'.

UPDATE: 11.34 David Taylor in the Comments denies Dr John likes being called Doctor. Another eminent correspondent points me to Page 2 of The Times T2 this morning. I quote: "He likes to be called Dr Reid and is senstitive to any hint of snobbery or being patronised by metrpolitan media types for his Glaswegian accent".

Tomorrow's Headline?

All in the Line of Beauty

On Sunday morning I was delighted to see my old friend Alan Duncan sharing Adam Boulton's SKY sofa with the star of Line of Beauty Dan Stevens. For some reason Alan seemed a little star-struck as he harked back to distant memories of the Thatcher golden years. My spies tell me that Alan was seen this evening entertaining Dan to drinks in the House of Commons. I wonder if they looked in on Baroness T so life really could imitate art. All in the Line of duty Beauty I suppose. Sadly I missed tonight's episode as it was, by a bizarre twist, my turn to grace Adam Boulton's programme. Hopefully the video worked!

I Was So Impressed I Bought the Book

Earlier this evening I toddled off to the V & A in South Kensington to attend the opening of the Dorothy and Michael Hintze gallery. You may recall Michael outing himself as a Conservative Party 'lender' on this blog in March. The reception was packed - I even spotted Jack Straw and Anneke Rice! Michael Hintze's philanthropy knows no bounds and he is so impressed with the Little Red Book that he has offered to pay for copies to be sent to all Tory 'A' List and Fast Track candidates. So that's another 125 copies spoken for. Unbelievably we've now got fewer than 500 left - so get your order in quickly!

Eric Forth RIP

This afternoon Eric Forth was buried. Unfortunately events conspired to prevent me from going. Carroll asked all male guests not to wear a black tie but to wear the most garish tie they owned. I was half expecting David Davis to ring me to ask to borrow one of my more lurid ties, of which I have many. So here's one of the ties I would have worn. Eric would have liked them. Even if you wouldn't!

Tune in to Sky News Tonight at 9.30

Tune in to Sky News PMQs programme at 9.30pm tonight (if you can drag yourself away from Line of Beauty) when I will be discussing blogging and the Little Red Book of New Labour Sleaze with Adam Boulton and Labour Peer and blogger Clive Soley.

The Dwindling Responsibilities of the Home Secretary

I have long thought that all this rubbish about the Home Office being far too big and needed splitting up was, as Bernard Ingham might have said, bunkum and balderdash, and was merely a figlead of an excuse to cover Charles Clarke's huge embarrassments. Expect it to be revived by the good Doctor John over the next few weeks. So it was with great interest that I saw this Written Question from Conservative MP David Lidington on 17 May. He asked the Home Office to list those responsibilities transferred from it to other Departments and vice versa since 1997. The Answer shows 24 functions transferred out of the Home Office and only 3 new responsibilities travelling the other way, of which two are of trivial importance. The functions leaving the Home included: human rights, freedom of information and data protection, gambling, liquor licensing, election law and the fire service - all weighty matters. Ministers should therefore have had a lot more time to focus on the remaining core responsibilities of the Department. It reinforces the view that it's is not so much that the Home Office being too big and unwieldy, but the incompetence or idleness of Ministers that is the real problem.

Written Answers 17 May col. 1038W
Home Office Responsibilities
Mr. Lidington: To ask the Secretary of State for the Home Department if he will list areas of policy responsibility which have been transferred (a) from the Home Office to other departments and (b) to the Home Office from other departments since 1997. [68904]
Mr. Byrne[holding answer 8 May 2006]: The information requested is as follows.
A. Areas of policy responsibility transferred from the Home Office since 1997: 1. Transfer from the Home Secretary to the Lord Chancellor: (a) the Monarchy (b) titles (c) ceremonial matters (d) the relationship between the administration of any of the Channel Islands or of the Isle of Man and the Crown or a Minister of the Crown (e) human rights (f) bodies or organisations established or incorporated by Royal Charter (g) appointments (h) ecclesiastical matters (i) marriage (j) access to information (including, in particular, the subject matter of the Data Protection Act 1998 and the Freedom of Information Act 2000), and
(k) buildings and structures in London 2. Functions passing from the Home Secretary to the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport: (a) gambling (b) horse-racing (c) liquor licensing, (d) late night refreshment (e) public entertainments (f) video recording (including, in particular, the subject matter of the Video Recordings Act 1984), and (g) films (including, in particular, the subject matter of the Cinemas Act 1985). 3. Functions passing from the Home Secretary to the Secretary of State for Trade and Industry: (a) street trading and pedlars, and (b) fairs 4. Functions passing from the Home Secretary to the (then) Secretary of State for Transport, Local Government and the Regions: (a) fire services and fire precautions (including, in particular, the subject matter of the Fire Services Act 1947 and the Fire Precautions Act 1971 and any provision which relates, or in so far as it relates, to a fire authority) (b) elections, and (c) bye-laws 5. Functions passing from the Home Secretary to the Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs: (a) animals

17 May 2006 : Column 1039W
B. Areas of policy responsibility transferred to the Home Office since 1997 1. Functions passing from the (then) Secretary of State for Education and Employment to the Home Secretary: (a) work permit functions. 2. Functions passing from the Secretary of State for Scotland to the Home Secretary (a) appointing a member of the Poisons Board under Schedule one to the Poisons Act 1972. 3. Functions passing from the Lord Chancellor to the Home Secretary (a) appointing a Conservator under section 12 of the Wimbledon and Putney Commons Act 1871.

Is Mr Speaker's Health Up to the Job?

Many MPS - and not just Conservatives - came out of PMQs today chuntering about the performance of the Speaker. At one stage he threatened to suspend proceedings if Tory MPs didn't stop hissing. The only trouble was, they weren't hissing at all - they were trying to shoosh so they could hear what the Prime Minister was saying, as he was attempting to dig himself out of his latest hole. Michael Martin is clearly not a well man - that was even evident from listening to it on the radio. He had a serious operation recently and his faltering performances - not just today - might well see his friends try to persuade him that he should step down sooner rather than later.

Did Cherie Pay for the Hutton Report She Donated?

Cheriegate (that's the 2006 version - nothing to do with Peter Foster) took a new twist today when Telegraph journo Alice Thomson alleged in her column that not only did Cherie sign a copy of the Hutton Report for auction, she actually donated it to. If that is the case, who paid for it? Cherie - or us, the poor bloody taxpayer?

Labour MP Calls on Labour Party to Hand Over Tainted Hutton Money

Giselaa Staurt, Labour MP for Birmingham Edgbaston and a member of the Committee which quizzed Dr David Kelly, has just called on the Labour Party to give the £400 raised from auctioning the copy of the Hutton Report signed by Cherie Blair to charity. She was speaking on Radio 5 Live.

Blair on Cherie: No Offence Intended

Robert Goodwill MP has just asked the Prime Minister about Cherie signing the Hutton Report. Tony Blair replied: "I do not think any offence was intended". So that's alright then.

I didn't see the earlier part of PMQs as I was doing a local radio piece with Radio Nottingham on the Little Red Book. Was I right in hearing on the radio that Ming had a bit of an IDS moment with a frog in his throat? His first question was a good one but it was a little odd that he followed it up with an almost identical question to the one which David Cameron has asked. I thought barristers were able to think on their feet?

UPDATE: Just in case my LibDem readers think I have launched another gratuitous attack on the old boy, John Pienaar has just slated his performance on 5 Live.

Latest from the Reinstate Roger Helmer Campaign

A press release just received from the campaign to reinstate the Conservative whip to Riger Helmer MEP.

Today (May 25th) marks the first anniversary of Roger Helmer MEP’s suspension of the Conservative whip in the European Parliament. On March 3rd 2006 three young Conservative Party members established www.reinstateroger.com, a web based campaign to have the Conservative whip restored to Roger. Since its launch the campaign has attracted a huge amount of support and press coverage, both at a local and a national level. Recent supporters to the campaign include Ann Widdecombe MP (Maidstone & The Weald), John Redwood MP (Wokingham) and the Right Honourable Lord Tebbit CH. The campaign is also supported by over 500 parliamentarians, councillors, party officials and party members. Richard Hyslop, co founder of the campaign said, “Over the last year Roger has remained a loyal member of the Conservative Party and has worked tirelessly for his East Midlands constituents, a point reflected in the huge amount of regional support he has received. While Roger has remained a loyal and has supported David Cameron other Conservative MEPs have not.” Richard went on “We urge those who have it within their power to reinstate Roger to the Conservative whip in the European Parliament, not only to reward his loyalty and tireless work but also to address the wrong of his suspension in the first place – after all, by highlighting possible corruption in the European Commission, all Roger was doing was standing by a manifesto commitment.”

Why the Home Office Will Leak Like a Sieve

I expect David Davis's fax machine and email to be particularly busy over the next few weeks, as the Home Office turns into the leakiest department in government (as well as the most incompetent). Why do I say this? Because there's nothing civil servants in a department resent more than being accused on incompetence in public by their Secretary of State. So for John Reid to say before a Commons Committee that the Home Office was not "fit for purpose" will have hardly endeared him to his new workforce. There will be much searching through old emails for things which will embarrass the government I suspect. Now, what was that email again? davisd AT parliament dot uk, I seem to remember.

Tony McNulty is Being Watched

As soon as I heard of Tony McNulty's sideways move I thought to myself that he'd have been better off resigning. So I was interested to note a grim presence in Westminster Hall yesterday. Patrick McLoughlin had a one and a half hour debate on policing in Derbyshire and McNulty was making his first appearance as Police Minister. But there, sitting in the public gallery through the whole 90 minutes was the senior Labour whip Tommy McAvoy, glowering over proceedings like the ghost of Christmas past. It was as if Sir Alex Ferguson had punished a youth team player for missing training one day and decided to sit in the stands at the next youth team game. What can it all mean?